When Your Brain Won’t Let Go: Turning ADHD Perseveration Into a Superpower

By Kevin Brough, MFT

I’m going to let you in on something that took me years to understand about my own ADHD brain: that laser-focus intensity that helps me solve complex problems? The same trait that makes me an effective therapist at times. It has a shadow side that can make collaboration feel like someone’s throwing wrenches into a perfectly running machine.

I call it my “autopilot mode,” and maybe you know exactly what I’m talking about.

The Double-Edged Sword of Perseveration

Here’s what happens in my head: Once I’ve mapped out how to approach something—whether it’s a therapy intervention, a home project, or even planning dinner—that plan becomes the plan. My brain locks onto it with the intensity of a heat-seeking missile. And when someone suggests a different approach? Even if I intellectually agree with them in the moment, five minutes later, I’ve entirely forgotten we changed anything. I’m back on my original track, steamrolling forward like we never had that conversation.

Sound familiar?

This is perseveration, and it’s one of those ADHD traits that lives in the grey area between strength and struggle. When I’m working alone, this tunnel vision is my secret weapon. I can hold a complex problem in my mind, rotate it, examine it from every angle, and persist until I find the solution. But what about adding another person to the mix? Suddenly their input feels less like collaboration and more like… well, like interference with the perfect plan already running in my head.

The hard truth I’ve had to face: Sometimes I subconsciously dismiss others’ ideas as “dumb” or label them as arguments rather than contributions. Even when my approach might be the best one (and let’s be honest, sometimes it is), that rigid certainty costs me something valuable—connection, collaboration, and often better solutions I couldn’t see from inside my tunnel.

Understanding Why Our Brains Get Stuck

Before we discuss turning this challenge into a strength, let’s first understand what’s actually happening. Adults with ADHD don’t just deal with distraction—we also struggle with persistent thoughts and beliefs that our brains won’t release. This shows up in several ways:

Intrusive thoughts arrive uninvited and set up camp in our minds, creating anxiety and pulling our attention away from what we’re trying to focus on.

Rumination traps us in thought loops, replaying past mistakes or catastrophizing future scenarios. Our ADHD brains have a hyperactive Default Mode Network—the part responsible for mind-wandering—which makes it incredibly hard to turn off these repetitive thought patterns.

Cognitive distortions warp our thinking into extremes. We fall into all-or-nothing thinking (“I always mess things up” or “I never get it right”) and catastrophizing (turning minor setbacks into disasters). Years of struggling without understanding why can solidify negative self-perceptions that become a constant backdrop to everything we do.

Perseveration—my particular nemesis—is the inability to shift away from a thought or approach, even when it’s no longer serving us. Unlike rumination that loops on emotions, perseveration locks onto plans, methods, and ways of doing things.

Why This Happens: The Neuroscience Briefly

Our ADHD brains have some unique wiring:

• Executive dysfunction impairs our brain’s command center, making it harder to flexibly shift between thoughts and regulate our responses
• DMN hyperactivity keeps our minds churning, making it challenging to let thoughts go
• Neurotransmitter imbalances (particularly dopamine and norepinephrine) affect how we process and release information
• Co-occurring anxiety or depression can amplify these patterns exponentially

The result? Once we lock onto something—an idea, a plan, a way of doing things—our brains struggle to unlock, even when we consciously want to.

My Personal Battle with Perseveration

Let me paint you a picture of how this plays out in my life. I’m working on a home project with my wife. I’ve already figured out the approach—measured twice, researched the best method, and mapped the steps. It’s a solid plan. She suggests a modification. I nod, agree it’s a good idea, and we decide to incorporate it.

Ten minutes later, I’m executing my original plan, as if our conversation never happened. She asks, “I thought we were doing it differently?” And I’m genuinely confused. In my head, we’re still following the plan—the one I created before she spoke.

In my practice, I’m collaborating with another therapist on a treatment approach. They share an insight I hadn’t considered. I acknowledge it, genuinely appreciate it, and even feel excited about it. In the next session, I reverted entirely to my original conceptualization. Their input vanished like morning fog.

The really tricky part? I often don’t notice I’m doing it. I slip into what I call “robotic mode”—unconsciously dismissive, operating from the script in my head, experiencing others’ contributions as threats to overcome rather than gifts to receive.

Sometimes I’m already in “robotic mode” intensely enough that I reject input from others as not just interruptions but Interferences. Interfering (arguing) with my train of thought, my process, my “doing”. Heaven forbid someone else would give us directions or attempt to teach us something while we are in that mode.

The Awareness That Changes Everything

The first breakthrough occurred when I began to catch myself in those moments. Not afterward, during the self-recrimination phase, but in the moment. I started noticing the physical sensations—a slight tightening in my chest when someone suggested a different approach, a subtle speeding up of my thoughts as my brain rushed to defend its plan.

That awareness doesn’t fix the problem, but it creates a tiny pause. A microsecond where choice becomes possible. Hopefully, this pause and openness can become a natural part of your routine.

Strategies: From Struggle to Strength

Here’s what I’ve learned and am still learning about managing perseveration and other persistent thought patterns, both personally and in working with clients:

1. Acknowledge Without Judgment

The moment you notice you’re stuck—whether in a thought loop or locked onto a rigid plan—acknowledge it without beating yourself up. “Oh, there’s that perseveration again,” or “My brain is really holding tight to this idea.” Resistance makes it stronger. Acceptance creates space for change.

2. Externalize to Release the Grip

Journaling is powerful for getting persistent thoughts out of your head and onto paper, where they have less power. When I’m stuck in a thought loop about whether I handled a client situation correctly, writing it out helps me see it more objectively.

For perseveration specifically, I’ve started documenting agreed-upon changes. If we modify the plan, I immediately write it down (in a note on my phone) or take a photo. It sounds simple, but it works. My brain might forget the conversation, but my phone doesn’t.

3. Create “Being While Doing” Check-ins

This phrase—”being while I’m doing”—captures what I need most. I’ve started building in deliberate pause points during tasks:

• Every 15 minutes, I stop and take three conscious breaths
• I ask myself: “Am I in robotic mode right now?”
• I check: “What was the last thing someone said to me about this?”
• I notice: “Am I defending a position or collaborating toward a solution?”

These micro-interventions interrupt the autopilot long enough for awareness to return. The state that I am in while I am doing becomes the open, collaborative, and connected version of me!

4. Engage Your Full Attention Elsewhere

When rumination or intrusive thoughts take hold, sometimes the best medicine is complete engagement in something else. Physical exercise, a video game that demands full concentration, a creative project—anything that genuinely captures your ADHD brain’s attention can break the loop.

I’ve found that high-intensity interval training works wonders. Thirty minutes of pushing my body hard enough that I can’t think about anything else often resets my mental state completely.

5. Practice Mindfulness (But Make It ADHD-Friendly)

Traditional meditation can be torture for ADHD brains. But mindfulness—the practice of present-moment awareness—is incredibly valuable for managing persistent thoughts. The key is finding approaches that work for how our brains actually function:

• Walking meditation: Paying attention to each step, the sensation of your feet, the rhythm of movement
• Sensory grounding: Naming five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can touch, two you can smell, one you can taste
• Brief body scans: Spending just 2-3 minutes noticing sensations in your body, especially where you hold tension

These practices train your brain to notice when it’s wandering and gently redirect—exactly the skill needed to catch perseveration before it takes hold entirely.

6. Leverage Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

CBT is remarkably effective for identifying and changing the thought patterns that trap us. A good therapist can help you:

• Recognize your specific cognitive distortions
• Challenge all-or-nothing thinking
• Develop more balanced perspectives
• Create practical strategies for interrupting unhelpful patterns

As both a therapist and someone with ADHD, I can tell you that CBT isn’t about positive thinking or pretending problems don’t exist. It’s about seeing your thoughts more clearly and choosing which ones to invest in.

7. Break Down the Overwhelm

When analysis paralysis strikes—when you’re so stuck in planning and perfecting that you can’t start—break the task into tiny steps. Not “organize the garage” but “spend 10 minutes sorting items in one corner.” Not “develop new treatment approach” but “read one article and take three notes.”

Small steps bypass the brain’s overwhelm response and build momentum.

8. Strengthen Your Foundation

None of these strategies work as well if your ADHD brain isn’t getting what it needs:

• Sleep: Non-negotiable for executive function
• Exercise: Literally changes brain chemistry in ADHD-helpful ways
• Nutrition: Blood sugar crashes amplify every ADHD challenge
• Medication: If appropriate for you, it can dramatically improve cognitive flexibility

Think of these as maintaining the operating system. Everything else is just apps.

The Strength Hidden in Perseveration

Here’s what I want you to understand: The same brain that gets stuck on plans and struggles to let go is also capable of extraordinary persistence, deep focus, and the ability to hold complex problems in mind until they’re solved.

My “perseveration” has made me excellent at following through on long-term therapeutic goals with clients. When I commit to helping someone, I don’t let go. I keep the threads of their story woven together across sessions. I notice patterns others might miss because I’m still holding onto details from months ago.

That tunnel vision that frustrates my wife during home projects? It’s also what allows me to hyperfocus on research, to read dozens of articles on a topic until I truly understand it, to persist through difficult therapeutic moments when a more straightforward path would be to give up.

The challenge isn’t to eliminate perseveration—it’s to develop enough awareness and flexibility to choose when to harness it and when to release it.

Working with Others: The Ongoing Practice

I’m still working on this. I still slip into robotic mode. I still sometimes unintentionally bulldoze over others’ input. But I’m catching it more often now. And when I do see it, I’ve learned to say:

“Hold on—I just realized I went back to my original plan without considering what you said. Can we pause and really talk through your idea?”

That vulnerability, that admission of my brain’s tendency to lock on and tune out, has actually strengthened my relationships. People appreciate being seen and heard. They appreciate knowing that when I override their input, it’s not because I don’t value them—it’s because my brain sometimes operates on old code before I can update it.

Your Turn

If you recognize yourself in this article, know that you’re not broken. Your brain isn’t defective. It’s wired differently, with both unique challenges and remarkable strengths.

The goal isn’t to become someone else. It’s to understand yourself well enough to work with your brain instead of against it. To catch the moments when perseveration serves you and the moments when it limits you. To build in the pauses, the check-ins, the awareness that transforms a rigid challenge into an adaptive strength.

Start small. Pick one strategy from this article. Try it for a week. Notice what changes. Build from there.

And remember: The same persistence that makes it hard to let go of a plan is the persistence that will help you build new patterns. Your ADHD brain is capable of remarkable change—you just have to stick with it long enough to see it through.

Kevin Brough, MFT, specializes in working with adults with ADHD, drawing from both professional training and personal experience. He focuses on helping clients transform ADHD challenges into strengths, building awareness and strategies that work with—not against—the unique brain of individuals with ADHD.

Kevin Brough – Ascend Counseling and Wellness – 435.688.1111 – kevin@ascendcw.com

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If you found this article helpful and would like to explore how to turn your ADHD challenges into strengths, I’d be happy to work with you. Understanding ADHD from the inside out is one of my specialties—because I live it too.