Recovery

March 9, 2015

The Sacred Path

Our “SACRED JOURNEY” – Is A Holistic (Soulistic) experience of reclamation and transformation that starts with integration of all parts of ourselves into our complete and whole soul. This approach creates ultimate health of “Heart, Mind, Body & Spirit. Taking Actions, Developing Skills, and Harnessing Mental Processes that “Make A Real Difference” in our behavior and lives. When we are congruent and honor who we truly are we own and see our highest self and align with inner wisdom to be that person one step at a time.

This is a process that can bring “Clarity” and Courage to:

  • “Realize” – Where you’re at
  • “Visualize” – What you really want
  • “Strategize” – How to create change to get there
  • “Actualize” – Your plan, step by step for better results
  1. Start with the (physical), Cellular Balance builds a foundation for complete Body Balance.
  2. This physical balance leads the way for total Inner Balance (integrating emotional, mental and spiritual health with that of the body).
  3. All this allows the optimum Life Balance you seek.

Continued treatments using complementary and alternative modalities along with the best current medical support will reinforce a permanent chemical change in mind and body and will allow the electrical synapse system of the MindBody to rewire itself back to healthy patterns and the natural energy flow to heal and return us to our natural adaptability and flexibility.

Healing on a cellular level allows you the opportunity to take back your health, wellness and fitness. It will require a lot of hard work to change daily behavior patterns to those that will support continued healing, recovery, and optimum health to return. We need to include the following in our daily actions and activities.

  • Proper Nutrition, Rest, and Sleep
  • Exercise
  • Healthy activities and recreation
  • Self Care
  • 12 step meetings
  • Therapy
  • Creativity and Grounding Activities
  • Prayer and Meditation
  • Service and connection
  • & of course “Continued Abstinence” from what enslaved you!

These valuable investments of time and energy into ourselves will support the journey from Cellular Health and Balance to Physical Health and Balance. From Physical Health to adding complete inner balance and (Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual Health) for a Whole and Balanced Soul. Once we achieve this inner balance, peace and wholeness our higher path will lead to a life balance filed with the joy, love, meaning and the fulfillment we desire. With growth and contribution comes contentment and love.

November 14, 2014

Care Giving

Care-taking VS Care-giving.  There are crucial differences between care-taking and care-giving and you will notice: the healthier and happier your relationship, the more you are care-giving rather than care-taking.

Care-taking and care-giving can be seen as a continuum.  We usually aren’t doing both at the same time.  The goal is to do as much care-giving as possible and to decrease care-taking.  Care-taking is a dysfunctional, learned behavior that can be changed.  We want to change so we can experience more peace, contentment, and better relationships. Intimates in your life may resist your healthier actions, but shifting to care-giving is a huge gift you are bestowing upon your loved ones. (Even when they do not see it at first)

The first step is identify loved ones that are care-taking you. (anyone in your life that you have given permission to watch over (Judge your decisions and or problems) Do you ask for opinions or advise in unhealthy ways? Do you ask or expect others to help carry your burdens, consciously or sub-consciously? Do you consistently go to the same people for help or support in a way that has allowed them to think you NEED them?. Are you giving them some control of your decisions or at least creating a dynamic of needing their wisdom instead of your own?

After you identify who is care-taking you, then ask yourself what role you play to keep that dynamic going. Care-taking is a hallmark of codependency and is rooted in insecurity and a need to be in control, or give up some responsibility or control to another.

Care-giving is an expression of kindness and love, and is based on altruistic empathy with no expectation or ego based attachment to outcome. When we truly allow autonomy the other persons success or failure is their own and should have no effect on how we feel about the help, support, and love we gave or attempted to give.

Here are some key differences between care-taking and care-giving:

  • Care-taking feels stressful, exhausting and frustrating.  Care-giving feels right and feels like love.  It re-energizes and inspires you.
  • Care-taking crosses boundaries.  Care-giving honors them.
  • Care-taking takes from the recipient or gives with strings attached; care-giving gives freely.
  • Caretakers don’t practice self-care because they mistakenly believe it is a selfish act.
  • Caregivers practice self-care unabashedly because they know that keeping themselves happy enables them to be of service to others.
  • Caretakers worry; caregivers take action and solve problems.
  • Caretakers think they know what’s best for others; caregivers only know what’s best for their selves.
  • Caretakers don’t trust others’ abilities to care for their selves, caregivers trust others enough to allow them to activate their own inner wisdom and problem solving capabilities.
  • Care-taking creates anxiety and/or depression in the caretaker.  Care-giving decreases anxiety and/or depression in the caregiver.
  • Caretakers tend to attract needy people.  Caregivers tend to attract healthy people.  (Hint:  We tend to attract people who are slightly above or below our own level of mental health).
  • Caretakers tend to be judgmental; caregivers don’t see the logic in judging others and practice a “live and let live attitude.”
  • Caretakers start fixing when a problem arises for someone else; caregivers empathize fully, letting the other person know they are not alone and lovingly asks, “What are you going to do about that.”
  • Caretakers start fixing when a problem arises; caregivers respectfully wait to be asked to help.
  • Caretakers tend to be dramatic in their care-taking and focus on the problem; caregivers can create dramatic results by focusing on the solutions.
  • Caretakers us the word “You” a lot and Caregivers say “I” more.

As with changing any behavior, becoming aware of it is the first step.  Watch yourself next time you are with someone and ask yourself where you fall on the continuum.  It will take some work to change and you may experience some resistance and fear in the process — but what is on the other side is well worth the struggles of transformation.

Remove yourself from being taken care of in kind ways, and learn to accept care-giving instead. (This may be from new intimates or from shifting existing relationships)

Become a Caregiver yourself. Give freely non-attached to outcome. Guide don’t direct, and ask questions to help others discover their inner wisdom instead of assuming they need your profound wisdom.

Traveling from co-dependency to in-dependency and then hopefully to interdependency in our relationships is difficult but not impossible. We all are entangled and connected. We all need to support and love and be supported and loved as we move through challenges and seasons in our lives.

Happy Care-giving;-) !!!!

November 8, 2014

Creator

I believe that I have a Creator. I have a myriad of reasons for having this belief and my main reasons have changed over the years even though my belief has remained fairly constant.

One of the reasons I originally believed in God or a Creator is because I was taught by significant people in my life that there was one. As I grew older and went through experiences that made me question my belief’s I revisited this reason for believing and came to a new understanding that the reason in my early youth I accepted these teachings was because I intuitively knew what they were teaching me was basically true. Another reason for believing in a Creator is based on experiences. Many times over the years I have had strong spiritual affirming experiences that I have a Creator that knows me and watches over me. Many of these experiences have been much more than just a feeling. These experiences have given me insights and perceptions that not only strengthened my belief in my maker but shifted or modified my understanding of him and his intentions. Another evidence to me that there is a Creator has come by learning about nature and/or incredible things in the Universe. When I study about the human body, see beautiful sights in the world, behold the Milky Way, or have watched animals, birth, or other wonders my belief in a Creator has been strengthened. I see patterns that many things are being orchestrated by someone far greater than myself. Combined these are some, but not all of the reasons in my heart of hearts I know there is a God. In April of 2001 I had a near death experience that gave me additional insights and even strengthened this knowledge to a level of certainty.

I believe this belief to be rational. Even without seeing him directly I have come close. To me it seems irrational to not believe. Science can explain much, but in every science there is still so much men do not know and cannot explain. A higher power that is running things from behind the curtain is all that seems rational to me. Every day I wonder at his creations.

As I went through some soul searching to understand my near death experience I questioned everything, let go any attachments I had, and was pretty much open to anything going forward. My journey came full circle to similar beliefs that I had before the experience, but for far different reasons. My new beliefs’ are based more on my understanding, than on the teachings of others. For this reason I think I would believe in God no matter what the proof. I think it is both an innate part of my soul, and part of the light and intelligence that life and the universe show me every day. My awareness of the Creator is present always. I see his magnificence in all I see, hear, feel, tough, taste, and smell when I am awake and aware. I also intuit his presence in much and have an intimate relationship with him when I am at peace, full of love, laughter, and joy.

January 19, 2014

Current Views On Addiction

The subject of addiction brings up many opinions and beliefs. These views on addiction can greatly affect ideas on what is addiction, if it’s possible to stop or recover from addiction, and what are the best ways to treat or overcome addiction if it is possible (Sellman, 2009). An addict, loved one of an addict, or a professional treating addiction has to wonder at times is addiction a lack of will power, a psychological or emotional issue, a chronic illness, a progressive disease, or a combination of all of the above?

Addiction comes in many forms but the process of becoming addicted and the progression of the disease has many commonalities that are better understood today than ever before. Whether the addiction is to a substance, a pleasurable activity, or a process the transition from a genetic vulnerability to a disease that changes the structure and function of the brain is similar in various ways (HMHL, 2011). First the desired subject/object/action stimulates Dopamine and other neurotransmitter activity and interaction in the brain, bringing about pleasure or reward. The speed and consistency of the result determines the strength of the connection made in between stimulus and pleasure (HMHL, 2011).  As this hedonic drive moves from desire to need the motivation to seek the pleasure is increased. Eventually this pleasure seeking mechanism becomes more of a compulsive unconscious obsession as the limbic system goes on auto pilot with the amygdala whispering heavily emotional lies about how great the pleasure really was. Even though tolerance has eroded the majority of the pleasure, many parts of the experience have become directly linked to the past pleasurable results that it triggers the frontal cortex to shut down and the limbic system to take over when triggered (HMHL, 2011).

Once one is in the trenches of addiction how can this all-encompassing subconscious automatic behavior become interrupted to the point of causing a shift in awareness or an epiphany that the strategy that once worked in finding pleasure now just brings them pain and sorrow (Sellman, 2009). When in the grip of addiction it is difficult to stop without motivators. This is not due to a lack of desire or will; it’s simply due to the fact that the majority of the pattern has become an autonomic reaction in the brain far from consciousness (HMHL, 2011).  You need to have awareness before ownership and transformation can take place. Because addiction is full of stealthy memories in the brain that have such strong emotional content that can be triggered at any minute by recalled data throughout the visual and sensory cortex, recovery will take time (HMHL, 2011).  Addicts need to move through the stages of change at their own pace based upon their own intentions and development (Sellman, 2009). New strategies and skills for self-regulation and behavioral & lifestyle modification will be the most important parts of that development.

All forms of therapy get results (Sellman, 2009). Like the law of inertia the addict will need to put apposing energy, time, and work into moving in a new direction. Energy equal to what they put into obsessing about, seeking, and using that which they were addicted too. There is not one answer for all alcoholics and addicts (Sellman, 2009).  A person needs to on one hand find what will work for them, while on the other hand be open and teachable. Programs need to take a person centered, humanistic approach; tailoring treatment plans to address the individual uniquely and holistically to get best results (Sellman, 2009).  Both physical and behavioral co-occurring conditions that acerbate the addiction need to be addressed, (since such a high percentage of addicts have psychiatric and other comorbidity factors) and the continuum of care needs to support recovery for as lengthy a time as possible (Sellman, 2009).  Relapses although not excusable are part of the disease and should be expected as part of recovery. Learning from relapses may be as important as relapse prevention in supporting one on the journey of healing and recovery (Sellman, 2009).  Only when physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs are being met in healthier ways can an addict fully recover from addiction.

The time has come to combine the best evidence based traditional and complimentary medical treatments with therapeutic approaches that reach and support an addict in recovery, meeting them where they are at and helping them make the steps needed to overcome that which enslaves them (HMHL, 2011).  This will only occur as old beliefs and opinions are discarded for the current view on addiction prevention, intervention, treatment and recovery. More providers, caregivers, therapist, social workers, and school counselors etc., that end up being the first point of contact so often for addicts, need to be more aware of intervention skills and open to helping their clients/patients find the resources for help earlier in the addiction cycle (Sellman, 2009).

References

How addiction hijacks the brain. (2011). Harvard Mental Health Letter, 28(1), 1-3. Retrieved from http://www.health.harvard.edu

Sellman, D. (2009). The 10 most important things known about addiction. Addiction,105, 6-13. doi:10.1111/j.1360-0443.2009.02673.x