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December 8, 2014

Values & Virtues

Virtue based ethics can be interpreted many ways since there is such a variation of moral beliefs and various definitions of what is virtuous. For the most part virtue ethics has advantages since there is many universal virtues or much common ground when it comes to what is ethical. The biggest disadvantage is that there are differences among cultures, times in history, and even in between groups, organizations, tribes, and families in certain types of virtue based beliefs. I believe Kant’s duty-based theory overlaps and is very easily integrated with virtue ethics since most duties are virtue based. As I explore more about virtue based ethics and Kant’s theories in this blog I will expound on how these two belief systems could be merged.

It is pretty easy to explore virtue ethics from a deontological and a consequentialist viewpoint. Under deontology it is simple to see virtues as rules of what is right and wrong and that an individual has a duty to honor such virtues for personal peace and to serve a greater good. Through the viewpoint of consequentialism it also seems clear that the majority of results or consequences that are good or virtuous can only come through actions that are also virtuous, good, or right.

Based on Kant’s Doctrine of Virtue and his duty-based theory a person can only be truly happy and have their life flourish if they are living in accordance to their virtues and duty to honor and respect themselves and others. Where so many people have a commonality among their beliefs of what are acceptable or even expected norms as far as what are virtuous beliefs, intentions, and actions/behaviors it seems that the world would be far more peaceful if everyone lived up to this duty to honor self and others. This level of commitment to others would even go farther if everyone also honored the universe in a similar fashion. By universe I mean animals, nature, mother nature, the earth, places, things, cultures, etc., etc..

As stated above I believe Immanuel Kant’s duty-based theory fits hand in glove with virtue based ethics since the responsibility to honor or serve something greater than yourself comes as part of virtue or values based belief system. Both Plato and Aristotle spoke and taught of virtue based beliefs being a motivation for much of what a person thought, said, and did. So many Eastern based philosophies are based on doing what is good for self and others because it is the only way one can have peace and happiness. Many spiritual and religious beliefs are based on doing unto others as you would want done unto yourself. In most cultures common virtues such as generosity, loyalty, honesty, and courage are aspired to.

Approaching life with a goal to live a more virtue centered life may at times have the dilemma of potential ethnocentrism, where we judge others as we judge ourselves, wanting us all to fit perceived norms and expectations. It would seem one of the most important parts of virtue ethics and duty-based living is to value openness and forgiveness with ourselves and others and let go of those rigid expectations. We will never have the peace, joy, and love in our life we often seek if we cannot be satisfied enough to be happy, while still remaining unsatisfied enough to continue growth. Self-acceptance, and the acceptance of others “as they are” may be the highest virtue of all.

December 2, 2014

Attachment Style

Why do Attachment Styles affect our relationships?

Experience with early caregivers forms a working model, or RELATIONSHIP SCHEMA that impacts later relationships.

Secure Working Model

  • Others are dependable, trustworthy, and supportive (benefit of the doubt).
  • I am worthy of other people’s support and love.

62% are SECURELY ATTACHED:

As a Child

  • Mother as a safe base.
  • Upset when she leaves.
  • Go to her lovingly when she returns.

As an Adult

I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don’t worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me.

Insecure Working Model

  • Others are expected to be undependable, untrustworthy, and UN-supportive.
  • I am unworthy of other people’s support and love.

23% are AVOIDANT:

As a Child

  • Initially do not seek proximity to the mother.
  • Very little distress upon separation.
  • Avoid/ignore her when she returns.

As an Adult

I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, others want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being.

15% are RESISTANT (AMBIVALENT):

As a Child

  • Preoccupied with mother (Clingy).
  • Great distress when the mother leaves
  • Simultaneously seek close contact but also hit and kick (punishment).

As an Adult

I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t want to stay with me. I want to get very close to my partner, and this sometimes scares people away.

HMMM? Something to think about.

Awareness provides fertile ground for Transformation!

November 10, 2014

Free Agency

I believe the determinist view that desires are the cause of all actions we take, is not a truly accurate viewpoint of what determines either deliberate or unintentional actions. I do think that many behaviors are determined by our thinking and motivated by feelings that those thoughts bring about. The problem with determinism alone as the explanation of all action is that our intentions versus behavior are a far more complicated than just desires alone. Determinism alone does not explain the full complicated process of human behavior.
The duality of man is maybe more than a struggle in between just two parts of the individual. I can see how at times the heart, mind, body, and spirit all have different agendas and that a person’s actions both individually and in pattern are not just a result of this struggle but of even many more additional forces. The additional impact of the past through memories and prior experience can effect greatly how one interprets the present and perceives the future and that can cause someone to act in ways in-congruent with who they are and what they want. The pressure put on individuals by significant others, groups, and society also effect greatly a person’s actions and behaviors. Does a person truly have autonomy and freedom to do as they want, I don’t think fully, due to all of these contributing factors. But all actions are not determined.
Freedom over automatic subconscious actions comes through awareness. The more one works to bring the heart, mind, body, and spirit into a harmonious and symbiotic relationship the more a person can learn to act consciously and have their intentions and actions aligned. Emotions do carry all of the energy used to motivate actions but those energies can be rerouted to meet objectives and higher motives than just desires. The context in which one acts certain ways can be changed to be integral with behaviors that have a higher purpose. Integrity means to come together and honor all of you. When this is done the freedom of more conscious choices increases. The opposite is also true when people give into base desires or addictive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, freedom is diminished.
The interpretation of memories and experiences that drive autonomic reactions when we perceive similar situations can drive behavior before thought. Man can also choose to relearn or put into new contexts those same prior experiences and change their interpretations of the past. In this way a person can change the meaning of their past learning’s and take back the power of conscious choice. As context and meaning changes so will the actions and behaviors. When we are open to change we can learn to live more as we intend to, instead of deliberate or unintentional actions that really are not congruent with the intentions of our hearts.
People can also learn to walk a path that is true to their own self instead of trying so much to please others, fit in to a group, or societal norms.

When you break free of expectations I believe you are also free to be as you want to be and do what you truly want to do. Re-framing beliefs, waking up and being aware more of the time, and being true to ourselves before others will bring more freedom. Determinism does not take into account so much of what causes or influences behavior and even though we go on auto pilot too often, we can have more and more freedom than we think we can, and we deserve it.

November 8, 2014

Creator

I believe that I have a Creator. I have a myriad of reasons for having this belief and my main reasons have changed over the years even though my belief has remained fairly constant.

One of the reasons I originally believed in God or a Creator is because I was taught by significant people in my life that there was one. As I grew older and went through experiences that made me question my belief’s I revisited this reason for believing and came to a new understanding that the reason in my early youth I accepted these teachings was because I intuitively knew what they were teaching me was basically true. Another reason for believing in a Creator is based on experiences. Many times over the years I have had strong spiritual affirming experiences that I have a Creator that knows me and watches over me. Many of these experiences have been much more than just a feeling. These experiences have given me insights and perceptions that not only strengthened my belief in my maker but shifted or modified my understanding of him and his intentions. Another evidence to me that there is a Creator has come by learning about nature and/or incredible things in the Universe. When I study about the human body, see beautiful sights in the world, behold the Milky Way, or have watched animals, birth, or other wonders my belief in a Creator has been strengthened. I see patterns that many things are being orchestrated by someone far greater than myself. Combined these are some, but not all of the reasons in my heart of hearts I know there is a God. In April of 2001 I had a near death experience that gave me additional insights and even strengthened this knowledge to a level of certainty.

I believe this belief to be rational. Even without seeing him directly I have come close. To me it seems irrational to not believe. Science can explain much, but in every science there is still so much men do not know and cannot explain. A higher power that is running things from behind the curtain is all that seems rational to me. Every day I wonder at his creations.

As I went through some soul searching to understand my near death experience I questioned everything, let go any attachments I had, and was pretty much open to anything going forward. My journey came full circle to similar beliefs that I had before the experience, but for far different reasons. My new beliefs’ are based more on my understanding, than on the teachings of others. For this reason I think I would believe in God no matter what the proof. I think it is both an innate part of my soul, and part of the light and intelligence that life and the universe show me every day. My awareness of the Creator is present always. I see his magnificence in all I see, hear, feel, tough, taste, and smell when I am awake and aware. I also intuit his presence in much and have an intimate relationship with him when I am at peace, full of love, laughter, and joy.

December 17, 2013

Using Gestalt Therapy & NLP with CBT for Deep Change

Fritz and Laura Perls started the first Gestalt Institute in their Manhattan apartment, and Fritz Perls began traveling throughout the United States in order to conduct Gestalt workshops and training.

In 1960 Fritz Perls left New York and moved to Los Angeles, where he started to offer workshops at Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California, in 1963. Perls became interested in Zen during this period, and incorporated the idea of brief awakenings into his practice. He also traveled to Japan, where he stayed in a Zen monastery. Eventually, he settled at Esalen and even built a house on the grounds.

  • The core of the Gestalt Therapy process is enhanced awareness of sensation, perception, physiological feelings, emotion and behavior, in the present moment.
  • Relationships are emphasized, along with contact between ones true self, the environment you are presently in, and the connections with others in our lives.

THE GESTALT PRAYER

I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I,
and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.
If not, it can’t be helped.
(Fritz Perls, “Gestalt Therapy”, 1969)

Richard Bandler, John Grinder, Robert Dilts and others studied with Fritz Perls for several years in the late 60’s and early 70’s. As Richard Bandler and John Grinder developed Neuro Linguistic Programing (NLP) in the early 70’s they modeled many of their systems upon Perls work as well as the therapeutic work of Virginia Satir and Milton Ericksen (The father of Hypnotherapy). Bandler and Grinder also drew upon the theories of Dilt’s, Gregory Bateson, Alfred Korzybski and Noam Chomsky, particularly transformational grammar, as well as ideas and techniques from the teachings of Carlos Castaneda.

Combining the Transformational Skills & Tools from NLP, the Awareness achieved through Gestalt Therapy, and the “will to meaning” gained through Victor Frankl’s Logo-Therapy and other Humanistic & Existential approaches to therapy with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that has proven to be so effective with changing behavior and overcoming addiction, one can bring about huge shifts in awareness and mental processes that support deep and lasting changes in behavior and life.

http://www.balancehealthsystems.com

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