Anxiety

December 23, 2025

The LifeScaping System

The LifeScaping System: A Journey Through the Three Masteries of Personal Transformation

From Crisis to Clarity: The Birth of a Therapeutic Framework

In 2001, a near-death experience became the unlikely catalyst for what would eventually become the LifeScaping System—a comprehensive framework for personal transformation that has since supported hundreds of individuals in their journeys toward healing and growth. What began as one person’s attempt to make sense of a profound, life-altering event evolved into an integrated therapeutic approach now offered through VisionLogic Therapeutic Tools.

The initial work wasn’t about creating a system at all. It was about survival. The process of reconstructing meaning after confronting mortality demanded new ways of understanding the self, examining internal experiences, and deliberately choosing a path forward. These three elements—awareness, transformation, and intent—would eventually crystallize into what the LifeScaping System now calls the Three Masteries.

Research on post-traumatic growth supports this pathway. Tedeschi and Calhoun (2004), who coined the term “post-traumatic growth,” found that individuals who struggle with highly challenging life circumstances often experience positive psychological change, including enhanced self-awareness, new possibilities in life, and deeper appreciation for existence. The LifeScaping System was developed through exactly this kind of crucible—forged not in theory but in lived experience.

The Three Masteries: An Evidence-Based Framework

The LifeScaping System rests on three interconnected pillars, each supported by decades of psychological research.

The First Mastery: Awareness

Self-awareness forms the foundation of all meaningful change. Without conscious recognition of our internal states—our thoughts, emotions, patterns, and triggers—transformation remains elusive. The LifeScaping approach to awareness draws from mindfulness traditions while integrating contemporary psychological understanding.

A comprehensive meta-analysis of 209 mindfulness-based intervention studies found that practices cultivating self-awareness demonstrated moderate effectiveness across multiple domains, including anxiety reduction, depression management, and overall psychological well-being (Khoury et al., 2013). The research suggests that awareness is not merely passive observation but an active, therapeutic process that creates space between stimulus and response.

The VisionLogic approach to awareness encompasses what might be called “MindSight”—the capacity to perceive both the landscape of one’s inner world and its relationship to external reality. This includes recognizing the interplay between Mind, Heart, Body, and Spirit—dimensions that together comprise the whole person. Pompeo and Levitt (2014) describe self-awareness as essential for both counselors and clients, noting that reflection and insight serve as catalysts for meaningful change in therapeutic relationships.

The Second Mastery: Transformation

Awareness alone is insufficient for lasting change. The LifeScaping System posits that transformation occurs when insight translates into restructured meaning and modified behavior patterns. This aligns closely with Boyatzis’s (2006) Intentional Change Theory, which outlines five discoveries essential for sustainable change: envisioning the ideal self, assessing the authentic self, developing a learning agenda, experimenting with new behaviors, and cultivating supportive relationships.

Boyatzis emphasizes that lasting transformation requires what he terms the “positive emotional attractor”—a state characterized by hope, compassion, and connection to one’s deeper values. When individuals focus exclusively on problems and deficits, they activate defensive neural pathways that actually inhibit change. The LifeScaping System’s emphasis on solution-focused and strengths-based approaches reflects this understanding.

The effectiveness of solution-focused approaches has been extensively documented. An umbrella review of 25 systematic reviews and meta-analyses found that Solution-Focused Brief Therapy demonstrated significant positive outcomes across different issues, settings, and cultural contexts, with particularly high confidence in evidence of effectiveness for depression, overall mental health, and progress toward individual goals (Żak & Pękala, 2024).

The Third Mastery: Intent

The final mastery involves the deliberate direction of one’s life toward chosen values and purposes. This goes beyond mere goal-setting to encompass what positive psychology calls “meaning-making”—the process of constructing narrative coherence from life experiences.

Viktor Frankl (1946/2006) articulated this principle when he wrote that those who have a “why” to live can bear almost any “how.” The LifeScaping System operationalizes this insight through structured exercises and assessments that help individuals clarify their values, articulate their vision for the future, and align daily actions with deeper purposes.

Research on intentional living supports this emphasis. Studies on post-traumatic growth have identified changes in life priorities, enhanced personal strength, and recognition of new possibilities as key outcomes of individuals who successfully navigate adversity (Tedeschi et al., 2018). The LifeScaping framework provides scaffolding for this growth process, offering tools that make abstract concepts concrete and actionable.

Development Through Practice: Two Decades of Refinement

The theoretical underpinnings of the LifeScaping System didn’t emerge from academic literature—they were discovered in practice and later validated through research integration. From 2001 forward, the tools and processes were developed, tested, and refined across multiple treatment settings:

The earliest iterations emerged through Vision Quest International (2001-2005), during which initial concepts were applied in residential treatment settings. The framework evolved at The Bridge (2006-2010), incorporating feedback from clients navigating chronic health recovery. The Balanced Health Institute (2010-2013) provided opportunities to integrate mind-body approaches, while The Retreat at Zion (2013-2018) offered immersive settings for deeper addiction recovery and transformational work. The international application was delivered through Symbiosis Health in Costa Rica (2016-2020), demonstrating cross-cultural applicability.

Throughout this period, the theoretical foundation strengthened through parallel academic training—bachelor’s and master’s degrees in psychology, licensed hypnotherapy certification, and specialized training in approaches including Ericksonian hypnotherapy, Satir’s Human Growth Model, and Strategic Intervention. Each educational experience informed the practical work, and each clinical application tested the academic theories.

This iterative development process mirrors what the research literature describes as practice-based evidence. Rather than imposing top-down protocols, the LifeScaping System grew organically from clinical observation, client feedback, and integration of what actually produced results.

The VisionLogic Therapeutic Tools

VisionLogic represents the current evolution of this two-decade journey. The therapeutic tools available through the platform translate the Three Masteries into practical applications that can support both self-directed growth and professional therapeutic work.

The MindSight framework helps users develop meta-cognitive awareness—the ability to observe one’s own thinking patterns. Research supports this approach: a systematic review found that enhanced self-awareness is associated with improved therapeutic outcomes and greater capacity to manage life challenges (Sutton, 2016).

Assessment tools like the Stewardship Assessment provide structured opportunities for self-reflection across life domains. These instruments draw from positive psychology’s emphasis on identifying strengths alongside areas for growth. Unlike deficit-focused assessments, they illuminate existing resources that can be mobilized for change.

The LifeScaping Process itself offers a guided journey through the Three Masteries. Users begin with awareness exercises, progress through transformation practices, and culminate in intent-setting activities that translate insights into action plans. This structured approach provides accountability and direction without prescribing specific outcomes, honoring the solution-focused principle that clients are experts in their own lives.

Supporting Professional Therapy

The LifeScaping System and VisionLogic tools are designed to complement, not replace, professional therapeutic relationships. Research consistently demonstrates that therapeutic alliance—the quality of connection between therapist and client—remains one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes across therapeutic modalities (Wampold & Imel, 2015).

Self-directed tools can enhance therapeutic work in several ways. Between-session engagement extends the therapeutic hour, allowing clients to continue processing insights and practicing new skills. Assessment instruments provide therapists with rich information about client perspectives. Structured exercises offer common language and frameworks that facilitate therapeutic conversations.

For clients who may lack access to professional therapy, these tools provide evidence-informed approaches to self-improvement. The system draws from modalities with established research bases, including Internal Family Systems concepts, Dialectical Behavior Therapy skills, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy principles, and Solution-Focused Brief Therapy techniques.

The Impact: Hundreds of Lives Transformed

Over two decades of application across residential treatment centers, outpatient programs, coaching relationships, and self-directed use, the LifeScaping System has supported hundreds—likely thousands—of individuals in their transformational journeys. While formal outcome research on this specific system is ongoing, the approaches it integrates have substantial empirical support.

Meta-analyses have found that mindfulness-based interventions produce moderate to significant effects on stress reduction and meaningful improvements in anxiety, depression, and quality of life (Khoury et al., 2013). Solution-focused approaches demonstrate effectiveness across populations and presenting concerns, with a recent comprehensive meta-analysis finding significant overall effects on psychosocial functioning (Vermeulen-Oskam et al., 2024). Research on intentional change suggests that vision-driven transformation produces more sustainable results than deficit-focused approaches (Boyatzis, 2006).

More importantly, the qualitative evidence—the stories of recovery, the moments of breakthrough, the lasting changes in life direction—speaks to the system’s real-world utility. These aren’t merely satisfied customers; they’re individuals who have moved through crisis toward clarity, who have discovered resources they didn’t know they possessed, and who have constructed meaningful lives aligned with their deepest values.

Conclusion: An Invitation to Mastery

The Three Masteries—Awareness, Transformation, and Intent—offer a framework for personal growth that integrates ancient wisdom and contemporary science. The LifeScaping System provides tools for traveling this path, whether in support of professional therapy or through self-directed exploration.

What began as one person’s attempt to make sense of a NDE has evolved into a comprehensive framework that has touched hundreds of lives. The journey from crisis to clarity is never linear, but with proper support and evidence-based tools, it is navigable.

VisionLogic Therapeutic Tools represents the latest evolution of this ongoing work. For those ready to begin their journey through the Three Masteries, the path awaits.

Check out LifeScaping at: https://www.visionlogic.org/lifescaping.html

I look forward to working with you, Kevin Brough, M.A., MFT-A.

Ascend Counseling and Wellness – ascendcw.com – 435.688.1111 – kevin@ascendcw.com

References

Boyatzis, R. E. (2006). An overview of intentional change from a complexity perspective. Journal of Management Development, 25(7), 607-623. https://doi.org/10.1108/02621710610678445

Frankl, V. E. (2006). Man’s search for meaning. Beacon Press. (Original work published 1946)

Khoury, B., Lecomte, T., Fortin, G., Masse, M., Therien, P., Bouchard, V., Chapleau, M.-A., Paquin, K., & Hofmann, S. G. (2013). Mindfulness-based therapy: A comprehensive meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 33(6), 763-771. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2013.05.005

Pompeo, A. M., & Levitt, D. H. (2014). A path of counselor self-awareness. Counseling and Values, 59(1), 80-94. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.2161-007X.2014.00043.x

Sutton, A. (2016). Measuring the effects of self-awareness: Construction of the Self-Awareness Outcomes Questionnaire. Europe’s Journal of Psychology, 12(4), 645-658. https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.v12i4.1178

Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (2004). Posttraumatic growth: Conceptual foundations and empirical evidence. Psychological Inquiry, 15(1), 1-18. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327965pli1501_01

Tedeschi, R. G., Shakespeare-Finch, J., Taku, K., & Calhoun, L. G. (2018). Posttraumatic growth: Theory, research, and applications. Routledge.

Vermeulen-Oskam, A., Prenger, R., Ten Klooster, P. M., & Pieterse, M. E. (2024). The current evidence of Solution-Focused Brief Therapy: A meta-analysis of psychosocial outcomes and moderating factors. Clinical Psychology Review, 114, 102483. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2024.102483

Wampold, B. E., & Imel, Z. E. (2015). The great psychotherapy debate: The evidence for what makes psychotherapy work (2nd ed.). Routledge.

Żak, A. M., & Pękala, K. (2024). Effectiveness of solution-focused brief therapy: An umbrella review of systematic reviews and meta-analyses. Psychotherapy Research. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1080/10503307.2024.2406540

The LifeScaping System and VisionLogic Therapeutic Tools are designed to support personal growth and complement professional therapeutic services. They are not intended to replace treatment by licensed mental health professionals. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact a qualified provider or emergency services.

October 9, 2025

Breaking the Cycle: Understand ADHD, Stress, and Compulsive Behaviors

Breaking the Cycle: Understanding ADHD, Stress, and Compulsive Behaviors

By Kevin Brough, MFT

If you’re reading this, you might be caught in a cycle that feels impossible to break. You tell yourself you just need more discipline, more willpower, more self-control. You promise yourself—and maybe your partner—that this time will be different. But when boredom hits, or stress overwhelms you, you find yourself right back where you started. And with each setback, the shame deepens, your self-esteem takes another hit, and your relationships suffer.

I want you to know something important: This isn’t a character flaw. This is neurobiology.

As a marriage and family therapist who works extensively with adults with ADHD, I’ve seen this pattern countless times. And I’m writing this article to help you understand what’s really happening in your brain and body—and more importantly, to give you a roadmap out of this cycle.

The Neurobiological Foundation: It’s Not About Willpower

When you have ADHD, particularly inattentive type (F90.0), your brain operates with chronically lower levels of dopamine and norepinephrine—two neurotransmitters that are essential for motivation, focus, attention, and impulse control (Volkow et al., 2009). This isn’t something you can simply overcome with discipline. Your brain is literally seeking these neurochemicals, and it will gravitate toward behaviors that provide quick dopamine hits.

This is why compulsive behaviors—whether pornography use, excessive gaming, social media scrolling, or other high-stimulation activities—become so problematic for individuals with ADHD. These behaviors provide rapid dopamine surges that your understimulated brain desperately craves (Blum et al., 2012). It’s not that you lack character; it’s that your brain is trying to self-medicate a neurochemical deficit.

The Stress Connection: Why It Gets Worse Under Pressure

Here’s where the cycle becomes particularly vicious. When you experience stress, your body activates the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, releasing corticotropin-releasing factor (CRF) and adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH), which ultimately leads to cortisol production (Smith & Vale, 2006). This stress response system, while designed to help us survive threats, creates additional challenges for individuals with ADHD.

Chronic stress actually impairs the prefrontal cortex—the very brain region responsible for executive functions like impulse control, decision-making, and self-regulation (Arnsten, 2009). So when you’re stressed, the part of your brain that would normally help you resist compulsive urges becomes even less effective. Meanwhile, stress increases your need for dopamine to feel balanced, making those quick-fix behaviors even more appealing.

This creates a devastating feedback loop:

  1. ADHD creates low baseline dopamine → 2. You seek high-dopamine behaviors → 3. These behaviors create shame and relationship problems → 4. Shame and problems create stress → 5. Stress impairs impulse control and increases dopamine-seeking → 6. The cycle intensifies

The Impact on Relationships and Self-Esteem

I see the toll this takes. The secrecy erodes trust. The broken promises create distance. Your partner feels hurt, confused, and often personalizes your behavior, wondering if they’re not enough. And you? You internalize the shame, believing you’re weak, broken, or fundamentally flawed.

But here’s what I need you to understand: Shame is not a motivator. Shame is fuel for the cycle.

When you’re drowning in shame, your brain becomes even more dysregulated, your stress levels spike, and you become more vulnerable to the very behaviors you’re trying to avoid (Tangney et al., 2007). Healing begins when we replace shame with understanding and strategic intervention.

A Comprehensive Path Forward: Evidence-Based Interventions

The good news—and there is genuinely good news here—is that with the right combination of interventions, you can break this cycle. This isn’t about willpower; it’s about working with your neurobiology instead of against it.

Important Disclaimer: The following information is educational in nature. Please consult with appropriate healthcare professionals—including your physician, psychiatrist, and therapist—before implementing medical, nutritional, or significant lifestyle changes. This article does not constitute medical advice or replace individualized treatment.

Medical Interventions

Medication Management: For many adults with ADHD, properly managed medication is transformative. Stimulant medications (like methylphenidate or amphetamine-based medications) and non-stimulant options (like atomoxetine or viloxazine) work by increasing dopamine and norepinephrine availability in the brain (Faraone & Glatt, 2010). This isn’t masking the problem—it’s correcting an underlying neurochemical imbalance.

When dopamine levels are adequately supported through medication, many individuals experience:

  • Reduced impulsivity and improved impulse control
  • Better ability to engage in delayed gratification
  • Decreased compulsive behavior-seeking
  • Improved emotional regulation
  • Enhanced ability to benefit from therapy

If you’re not currently on medication, or if your current regimen isn’t effectively managing your symptoms, please discuss this with a psychiatrist who specializes in adult ADHD. If you are on medication but still struggling significantly, your dosage or medication type may need adjustment.

Addressing Co-occurring Conditions: ADHD frequently co-occurs with anxiety, depression, and trauma histories (Kessler et al., 2006). These conditions interact with and exacerbate each other. Comprehensive psychiatric evaluation can help identify and treat the full clinical picture.

Nutritional Approaches

Your brain is a biochemical organ, and what you feed it matters profoundly.

Protein and Amino Acids: Adequate protein intake is essential for neurotransmitter production. Tyrosine, an amino acid found in protein-rich foods, is a precursor to dopamine (Fernstrom & Fernstrom, 2007). Aim for protein at every meal, particularly breakfast, to support stable dopamine production throughout the day.

Omega-3 Fatty Acids: Research suggests that omega-3 supplementation, particularly EPA and DHA, may improve ADHD symptoms and support brain health (Bloch & Qawasmi, 2011). Fatty fish (salmon, mackerel, sardines) or quality fish oil supplements are excellent sources.

Blood Sugar Regulation: Unstable blood sugar creates stress on your body and brain, triggering cortisol release and impairing executive function. Focus on:

  • Complex carbohydrates paired with protein and healthy fats
  • Regular meals (don’t skip breakfast)
  • Minimizing refined sugars and processed foods

Micronutrients: Deficiencies in zinc, magnesium, and iron are associated with ADHD symptoms (Rucklidge et al., 2014). Consider having your levels checked and supplementing as recommended by your physician.

Limit Stimulants and Depressants: Excessive caffeine can increase anxiety and disrupt sleep. Alcohol impairs impulse control and interferes with medication effectiveness. Both disrupt the very systems you’re trying to stabilize.

Exercise and Movement

Physical exercise is one of the most powerful non-pharmaceutical interventions for ADHD (Ratey & Loehr, 2011). Exercise increases dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin—providing natural symptom relief. It also reduces cortisol, improves stress resilience, and enhances executive function.

Practical Recommendations:

  • Cardiovascular Exercise: Aim for 30-45 minutes of moderate to vigorous activity most days. Running, cycling, swimming, or brisk walking all provide significant benefits.
  • Strength Training: Resistance training 2-3 times per week supports overall brain health and provides structure.
  • Morning Exercise: If possible, exercise early in the day. This floods your brain with neurochemicals when dopamine is typically lowest, reducing compulsive behavior-seeking throughout the day.
  • Movement Breaks: If you work a sedentary job, take brief movement breaks every hour. Even 2-3 minutes of movement helps regulate your nervous system.

Sleep Hygiene

Sleep deprivation is catastrophic for ADHD symptoms and impulse control (Cortese et al., 2013). When you’re sleep-deprived, your prefrontal cortex essentially goes offline, making compulsive behaviors nearly impossible to resist.

Essential Sleep Practices:

  • Maintain consistent sleep and wake times (even on weekends)
  • Eliminate screens 1-2 hours before bed (blue light suppresses melatonin)
  • Create a dark, cool sleeping environment
  • Avoid caffeine after noon
  • Consider melatonin supplementation (discuss with your doctor)

Therapeutic Interventions

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT helps you identify and restructure the thought patterns that maintain compulsive behaviors. It’s particularly effective when combined with medication (Safren et al., 2010). You’ll learn to:

  • Recognize triggers and high-risk situations
  • Challenge shame-based thinking
  • Develop alternative coping strategies
  • Build behavioral activation when motivation is low

Mindfulness and Self-Compassion: Mindfulness practices strengthen the prefrontal cortex and improve emotion regulation (Hölzel et al., 2011). Self-compassion—treating yourself with the kindness you’d offer a good friend—is a powerful antidote to shame. Research consistently shows that self-compassion increases motivation and resilience while reducing avoidance behaviors (Neff, 2003).

Start with just 5 minutes daily of mindfulness meditation. Apps like Insight Timer or Headspace can guide you. When you notice the urge to engage in compulsive behavior, try the “RAIN” technique:

  • Recognize what’s happening
  • Allow the experience to be there
  • Investigate with kindness
  • Nurture yourself

Couples Therapy: If your relationship has been impacted, couples therapy is essential. Your partner needs support processing their hurt, and you both need to rebuild trust and intimacy. A therapist can help you:

  • Develop transparent communication
  • Establish healthy boundaries and accountability
  • Understand the neurobiological components (this isn’t personal)
  • Reconnect emotionally and physically in healthy ways
  • Address underlying relationship issues that may increase vulnerability

ADHD Therapy: ADHD specialized therapists can help you build systems and structures that work with your brain. They can help you:

  • Create environmental modifications that reduce temptation
  • Develop routines that support executive function
  • Build in stimulation and novelty in healthy ways
  • Set realistic goals and maintain accountability

Environmental and Behavioral Strategies

Structure and Routine: Your ADHD brain functions best with external structure. Create consistent daily routines for morning, evening, work, and self-care. Use:

  • Visual schedules and reminders
  • Time-blocking techniques
  • Habit stacking (linking new habits to established ones)

Reduce Accessibility: Make compulsive behaviors harder to access. Install website blockers, keep devices out of private spaces, and create friction between impulse and action. Even small barriers significantly reduce impulsive behavior.

Increase Healthy Stimulation: Your brain needs stimulation. Instead of trying to exist in understimulation, flood your life with healthy, engaging activities:

  • Pursue hobbies that provide flow states
  • Engage in novel experiences regularly
  • Connect with friends and community
  • Learn new skills
  • Listen to music or podcasts during mundane tasks

Identify and Manage Triggers: Work with your therapist to identify your specific triggers:

  • Boredom triggers: What times of day or situations leave you understimulated? Build in healthy stimulation during these windows.
  • Stress triggers: What creates stress in your life? How can you address root causes or develop healthier stress management?
  • Emotional triggers: What feelings precede compulsive behaviors? Develop emotional regulation skills and alternative coping strategies.

Build Accountability: Isolation feeds compulsive behavior. Consider:

  • Regular check-ins with your therapist or coach
  • Support groups (either ADHD-focused or recovery-focused)
  • Accountability partners
  • Transparent technology sharing with your spouse (when appropriate and agreed upon)

Addressing the Relationship

Your relationship has been hurt. That’s real, and it needs attention. But healing is absolutely possible.

For You:

  • Take full responsibility without drowning in shame
  • Understand that changing behavior takes time—be patient with yourself while remaining committed
  • Show through consistent action, not just words
  • Be genuinely curious about your partner’s experience
  • Recognize that trust is rebuilt slowly through reliability

For Your Partner:

  • Your pain is valid, and their behavior impacts you deeply
  • This isn’t about you or your desirability
  • Understanding the neurobiology doesn’t excuse behavior, but it provides context
  • Your partner’s recovery journey may not be linear
  • Your own therapy or support group can be invaluable
  • Set boundaries that honor your needs while supporting their recovery

Together:

  • Rebuild emotional intimacy before focusing solely on physical intimacy
  • Create shared positive experiences
  • Practice vulnerability and authentic communication
  • Celebrate small victories
  • Remember why you chose each other

The Path Forward: From Shame to Hope

I want to return to where we started. You are not weak. You are not broken. You are not fundamentally flawed. You have a neurodevelopmental condition that makes certain behaviors particularly challenging to manage, and you’ve been caught in a cycle that feeds on itself.

But here’s what I know from years of working with clients just like you: Change is possible. Recovery is real. Better relationships await you.

The interventions I’ve outlined aren’t quick fixes, and they won’t all resonate equally with you. But when you approach this comprehensively—addressing the neurobiology through medication and nutrition, supporting your brain through exercise and sleep, building skills through therapy, and creating structures that set you up for success—the cycle begins to break.

Progress won’t be linear. You’ll have setbacks. But each time you implement these strategies, you’re strengthening new neural pathways, building resilience, and moving toward the person you want to be.

Next Steps: Your Action Plan

  1. Medical: Schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist specializing in adult ADHD to discuss medication options or optimize your current regimen.
  2. Therapeutic: Begin or continue individual therapy with a therapist experienced in ADHD and compulsive behaviors. Consider adding couples therapy if your relationship has been impacted.
  3. Physical: Start a consistent exercise routine this week. Even 20 minutes counts. Make this non-negotiable.
  4. Nutritional: Audit your diet. Are you eating adequate protein? Are you skipping meals? Consider consulting with a nutritionist.
  5. Environmental: Implement one environmental change this week that reduces access to compulsive behaviors.
  6. Support: Research ADHD or recovery support groups in your area. Connection matters.
  7. Self-Compassion: When you notice self-critical thoughts, pause and ask: “What would I say to a good friend struggling with this?” Extend that same compassion to yourself.

A Final Word

I believe in your capacity for change. I’ve seen it happen countless times. The brain is remarkably neuroplastic—it can form new patterns, new connections, new ways of being. But it needs the right support, the right interventions, and the proper understanding.

You deserve a life free from the shame-and-compulsion cycle. Your relationship deserves honesty, intimacy, and trust. And the version of yourself you’re working toward? That person is already within you, waiting for the right conditions to emerge.

Be patient with yourself. Be strategic in your approach. Be willing to ask for help. And be hopeful, because hope is not naive—it’s grounded in the reality that with comprehensive intervention, people recover and relationships heal.

You’re not fighting this battle alone anymore.

Kevin Brough, MFT
Marriage and Family Therapist

Ascend Counseling and Wellness – ascendcw.com – 435.688.1111 – kevin@ascendcw.com

References

Arnsten, A. F. (2009). Stress signalling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 410-422. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn2648

Bloch, M. H., & Qawasmi, A. (2011). Omega-3 fatty acid supplementation for the treatment of children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder symptomatology: Systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 50(10), 991-1000. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jaac.2011.06.008

Blum, K., Chen, A. L., Braverman, E. R., Comings, D. E., Chen, T. J., Arcuri, V., Blum, S. H., Downs, B. W., Waite, R. L., Notaro, A., Lubar, J., Williams, L., Prihoda, T. J., Palomo, T., & Oscar-Berman, M. (2012). Attention-deficit-hyperactivity disorder and reward deficiency syndrome. Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment, 4(5), 893-918. https://doi.org/10.2147/NDT.S2627

Cortese, S., Faraone, S. V., Konofal, E., & Lecendreux, M. (2013). Sleep in children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: Meta-analysis of subjective and objective studies. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 48(9), 894-908. https://doi.org/10.1097/CHI.0b013e3181ac09c9

Faraone, S. V., & Glatt, S. J. (2010). A comparison of the efficacy of medications for adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder using meta-analysis of effect sizes. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 71(6), 754-763. https://doi.org/10.4088/JCP.08m04902pur

Fernstrom, J. D., & Fernstrom, M. H. (2007). Tyrosine, phenylalanine, and catecholamine synthesis and function in the brain. The Journal of Nutrition, 137(6), 1539S-1547S. https://doi.org/10.1093/jn/137.6.1539S

Hölzel, B. K., Lazar, S. W., Gard, T., Schuman-Olivier, Z., Vago, D. R., & Ott, U. (2011). How does mindfulness meditation work? Proposing mechanisms of action from a conceptual and neural perspective. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 6(6), 537-559. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691611419671

Kessler, R. C., Adler, L., Barkley, R., Biederman, J., Conners, C. K., Demler, O., Faraone, S. V., Greenhill, L. L., Howes, M. J., Secnik, K., Spencer, T., Ustun, T. B., Walters, E. E., & Zaslavsky, A. M. (2006). The prevalence and correlates of adult ADHD in the United States: Results from the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. The American Journal of Psychiatry, 163(4), 716-723. https://doi.org/10.1176/ajp.2006.163.4.716

Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85-101. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309032

Ratey, J. J., & Loehr, J. E. (2011). The positive impact of physical activity on cognition during adulthood: A review of underlying mechanisms, evidence and recommendations. Reviews in the Neurosciences, 22(2), 171-185. https://doi.org/10.1515/rns.2011.017

Rucklidge, J. J., Frampton, C. M., Gorman, B., & Boggis, A. (2014). Vitamin-mineral treatment of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder in adults: Double-blind randomised placebo-controlled trial. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 204(4), 306-315. https://doi.org/10.1192/bjp.bp.113.132126

Safren, S. A., Otto, M. W., Sprich, S., Winett, C. L., Wilens, T. E., & Biederman, J. (2010). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for ADHD in medication-treated adults with continued symptoms. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 43(7), 831-842. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2004.07.001

Smith, S. M., & Vale, W. W. (2006). The role of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis in neuroendocrine responses to stress. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 8(4), 383-395. https://doi.org/10.31887/DCNS.2006.8.4/ssmith

Tangney, J. P., Stuewig, J., & Mashek, D. J. (2007). Moral emotions and moral behavior. Annual Review of Psychology, 58, 345-372. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.56.091103.070145

Volkow, N. D., Wang, G. J., Kollins, S. H., Wigal, T. L., Newcorn, J. H., Telang, F., Fowler, J. S., Zhu, W., Logan, J., Ma, Y., Pradhan, K., Wong, C., & Swanson, J. M. (2009). Evaluating dopamine reward pathway in ADHD: Clinical implications. JAMA, 302(10), 1084-1091. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.2009.1308

October 8, 2025

Turning ADHD into a Superpower

When Your Brain Won’t Let Go: Turning ADHD Perseveration Into a Superpower

By Kevin Brough, MFT

I’m going to let you in on something that took me years to understand about my own ADHD brain: that laser-focus intensity that helps me solve complex problems? The same trait that makes me an effective therapist at times. It has a shadow side that can make collaboration feel like someone’s throwing wrenches into a perfectly running machine.

I call it my “autopilot mode,” and maybe you know exactly what I’m talking about.

The Double-Edged Sword of Perseveration

Here’s what happens in my head: Once I’ve mapped out how to approach something—whether it’s a therapy intervention, a home project, or even planning dinner—that plan becomes the plan. My brain locks onto it with the intensity of a heat-seeking missile. And when someone suggests a different approach? Even if I intellectually agree with them in the moment, five minutes later, I’ve entirely forgotten we changed anything. I’m back on my original track, steamrolling forward like we never had that conversation.

Sound familiar?

This is perseveration, and it’s one of those ADHD traits that lives in the grey area between strength and struggle. When I’m working alone, this tunnel vision is my secret weapon. I can hold a complex problem in my mind, rotate it, examine it from every angle, and persist until I find the solution. But what about adding another person to the mix? Suddenly their input feels less like collaboration and more like… well, like interference with the perfect plan already running in my head.

The hard truth I’ve had to face: Sometimes I subconsciously dismiss others’ ideas as “dumb” or label them as arguments rather than contributions. Even when my approach might be the best one (and let’s be honest, sometimes it is), that rigid certainty costs me something valuable—connection, collaboration, and often better solutions I couldn’t see from inside my tunnel.

Understanding Why Our Brains Get Stuck

Before we discuss turning this challenge into a strength, let’s first understand what’s actually happening. Adults with ADHD don’t just deal with distraction—we also struggle with persistent thoughts and beliefs that our brains won’t release. This shows up in several ways:

Intrusive thoughts arrive uninvited and set up camp in our minds, creating anxiety and pulling our attention away from what we’re trying to focus on.

Rumination traps us in thought loops, replaying past mistakes or catastrophizing future scenarios. Our ADHD brains have a hyperactive Default Mode Network—the part responsible for mind-wandering—which makes it incredibly hard to turn off these repetitive thought patterns.

Cognitive distortions warp our thinking into extremes. We fall into all-or-nothing thinking (“I always mess things up” or “I never get it right”) and catastrophizing (turning minor setbacks into disasters). Years of struggling without understanding why can solidify negative self-perceptions that become a constant backdrop to everything we do.

Perseveration—my particular nemesis—is the inability to shift away from a thought or approach, even when it’s no longer serving us. Unlike rumination that loops on emotions, perseveration locks onto plans, methods, and ways of doing things.

Why This Happens: The Neuroscience Briefly

Our ADHD brains have some unique wiring:

  • Executive dysfunction impairs our brain’s command center, making it harder to flexibly shift between thoughts and regulate our responses
  • DMN hyperactivity keeps our minds churning, making it challenging to let thoughts go
  • Neurotransmitter imbalances (particularly dopamine and norepinephrine) affect how we process and release information
  • Co-occurring anxiety or depression can amplify these patterns exponentially

The result? Once we lock onto something—an idea, a plan, a way of doing things—our brains struggle to unlock, even when we consciously want to.

My Personal Battle with Perseveration

Let me paint you a picture of how this plays out in my life. I’m working on a home project with my wife. I’ve already figured out the approach—measured twice, researched the best method, and mapped the steps. It’s a solid plan. She suggests a modification. I nod, agree it’s a good idea, and we decide to incorporate it.

Ten minutes later, I’m executing my original plan, as if our conversation never happened. She asks, “I thought we were doing it differently?” And I’m genuinely confused. In my head, we’re still following the plan—the one I created before she spoke.

In my practice, I’m collaborating with another therapist on a treatment approach. They share an insight I hadn’t considered. I acknowledge it, genuinely appreciate it, and even feel excited about it. In the next session, I reverted entirely to my original conceptualization. Their input vanished like morning fog.

The really tricky part? I often don’t notice I’m doing it. I slip into what I call “robotic mode”—unconsciously dismissive, operating from the script in my head, experiencing others’ contributions as threats to overcome rather than gifts to receive.

Sometimes I’m already in “robotic mode” intensely enough that I reject input from others as not just interruptions but Interferences. Interfering (arguing) with my train of thought, my process, my “doing”. Heaven forbid someone else would give us directions or attempt to teach us something while we are in that mode.

The Awareness That Changes Everything

The first breakthrough occurred when I began to catch myself in those moments. Not afterward, during the self-recrimination phase, but in the moment. I started noticing the physical sensations—a slight tightening in my chest when someone suggested a different approach, a subtle speeding up of my thoughts as my brain rushed to defend its plan.

That awareness doesn’t fix the problem, but it creates a tiny pause. A microsecond where choice becomes possible. Hopefully, this pause and openness can become a natural part of your routine.

Strategies: From Struggle to Strength

Here’s what I’ve learned and am still learning about managing perseveration and other persistent thought patterns, both personally and in working with clients:

1. Acknowledge Without Judgment

The moment you notice you’re stuck—whether in a thought loop or locked onto a rigid plan—acknowledge it without beating yourself up. “Oh, there’s that perseveration again,” or “My brain is really holding tight to this idea.” Resistance makes it stronger. Acceptance creates space for change.

2. Externalize to Release the Grip

Journaling is powerful for getting persistent thoughts out of your head and onto paper, where they have less power. When I’m stuck in a thought loop about whether I handled a client situation correctly, writing it out helps me see it more objectively.

For perseveration specifically, I’ve started documenting agreed-upon changes. If we modify the plan, I immediately write it down (in a note on my phone) or take a photo. It sounds simple, but it works. My brain might forget the conversation, but my phone doesn’t.

3. Create “Being While Doing” Check-ins

This phrase—”being while I’m doing”—captures what I need most. I’ve started building in deliberate pause points during tasks:

  • Every 15 minutes, I stop and take three conscious breaths
  • I ask myself: “Am I in robotic mode right now?”
  • I check: “What was the last thing someone said to me about this?”
  • I notice: “Am I defending a position or collaborating toward a solution?”

These micro-interventions interrupt the autopilot long enough for awareness to return. The state that I am in while I am doing becomes the open, collaborative, and connected version of me!

4. Engage Your Full Attention Elsewhere

When rumination or intrusive thoughts take hold, sometimes the best medicine is complete engagement in something else. Physical exercise, a video game that demands full concentration, a creative project—anything that genuinely captures your ADHD brain’s attention can break the loop.

I’ve found that high-intensity interval training works wonders. Thirty minutes of pushing my body hard enough that I can’t think about anything else often resets my mental state completely.

5. Practice Mindfulness (But Make It ADHD-Friendly)

Traditional meditation can be torture for ADHD brains. But mindfulness—the practice of present-moment awareness—is incredibly valuable for managing persistent thoughts. The key is finding approaches that work for how our brains actually function:

  • Walking meditation: Paying attention to each step, the sensation of your feet, the rhythm of movement
  • Sensory grounding: Naming five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can touch, two you can smell, one you can taste
  • Brief body scans: Spending just 2-3 minutes noticing sensations in your body, especially where you hold tension

These practices train your brain to notice when it’s wandering and gently redirect—exactly the skill needed to catch perseveration before it takes hold entirely.

6. Leverage Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

CBT is remarkably effective for identifying and changing the thought patterns that trap us. A good therapist can help you:

  • Recognize your specific cognitive distortions
  • Challenge all-or-nothing thinking
  • Develop more balanced perspectives
  • Create practical strategies for interrupting unhelpful patterns

As both a therapist and someone with ADHD, I can tell you that CBT isn’t about positive thinking or pretending problems don’t exist. It’s about seeing your thoughts more clearly and choosing which ones to invest in.

7. Break Down the Overwhelm

When analysis paralysis strikes—when you’re so stuck in planning and perfecting that you can’t start—break the task into tiny steps. Not “organize the garage” but “spend 10 minutes sorting items in one corner.” Not “develop new treatment approach” but “read one article and take three notes.”

Small steps bypass the brain’s overwhelm response and build momentum.

8. Strengthen Your Foundation

None of these strategies work as well if your ADHD brain isn’t getting what it needs:

  • Sleep: Non-negotiable for executive function
  • Exercise: Literally changes brain chemistry in ADHD-helpful ways
  • Nutrition: Blood sugar crashes amplify every ADHD challenge
  • Medication: If appropriate for you, it can dramatically improve cognitive flexibility

Think of these as maintaining the operating system. Everything else is just apps.

The Strength Hidden in Perseveration

Here’s what I want you to understand: The same brain that gets stuck on plans and struggles to let go is also capable of extraordinary persistence, deep focus, and the ability to hold complex problems in mind until they’re solved.

My “perseveration” has made me excellent at following through on long-term therapeutic goals with clients. When I commit to helping someone, I don’t let go. I keep the threads of their story woven together across sessions. I notice patterns others might miss because I’m still holding onto details from months ago.

That tunnel vision that frustrates my wife during home projects? It’s also what allows me to hyperfocus on research, to read dozens of articles on a topic until I truly understand it, to persist through difficult therapeutic moments when a more straightforward path would be to give up.

The challenge isn’t to eliminate perseveration—it’s to develop enough awareness and flexibility to choose when to harness it and when to release it.

Working with Others: The Ongoing Practice

I’m still working on this. I still slip into robotic mode. I still sometimes unintentionally bulldoze over others’ input. But I’m catching it more often now. And when I do see it, I’ve learned to say:

“Hold on—I just realized I went back to my original plan without considering what you said. Can we pause and really talk through your idea?”

That vulnerability, that admission of my brain’s tendency to lock on and tune out, has actually strengthened my relationships. People appreciate being seen and heard. They appreciate knowing that when I override their input, it’s not because I don’t value them—it’s because my brain sometimes operates on old code before I can update it.

Your Turn

If you recognize yourself in this article, know that you’re not broken. Your brain isn’t defective. It’s wired differently, with both unique challenges and remarkable strengths.

The goal isn’t to become someone else. It’s to understand yourself well enough to work with your brain instead of against it. To catch the moments when perseveration serves you and the moments when it limits you. To build in the pauses, the check-ins, the awareness that transforms a rigid challenge into an adaptive strength.

Start small. Pick one strategy from this article. Try it for a week. Notice what changes. Build from there.

And remember: The same persistence that makes it hard to let go of a plan is the persistence that will help you build new patterns. Your ADHD brain is capable of remarkable change—you just have to stick with it long enough to see it through.

Kevin Brough, MFT, specializes in working with adults with ADHD, drawing from both professional training and personal experience. He focuses on helping clients transform ADHD challenges into strengths, building awareness and strategies that work with—not against—the unique brain of individuals with ADHD.

Kevin Brough – Ascend Counseling and Wellness – 435.688.1111 – kevin@ascendcw.com

If you found this article helpful and would like to explore how to turn your ADHD challenges into strengths, I’d be happy to work with you. Understanding ADHD from the inside out is one of my specialties—because I live it too.

August 28, 2025

Profound Change Work

Change Work: Moving Beyond Surface Behaviors to Deep Transformation

By Kevin Brough, MFT

Introduction

In my years of practice, I’ve come to understand a fundamental truth about human change: You can’t change what you’re not aware of. This simple yet profound statement encapsulates the essence of meaningful therapeutic work and personal transformation. Too often, we focus on behavioral modifications—what I call first-order changes—without addressing the deeper cognitive and emotional systems that drive these behaviors. True, sustainable change requires a systems-based approach that recognizes the interconnected nature of our thoughts, emotions, and actions.

The field of cognitive-behavioral therapy has evolved significantly from its early focus on symptom reduction to a more comprehensive understanding of human change processes. Systems-based CBT recognizes that lasting behavioral change is only possible when we address the underlying cognitive and emotional patterns that maintain problematic behaviors (Mahoney, 1991). This approach acknowledges that human beings are complex systems where changes at one level inevitably impact other levels of functioning.

First-Order vs. Second-Order Change: Understanding the Hierarchy of Transformation

The distinction between first-order and second-order change is crucial for understanding why many therapeutic interventions fail to produce lasting results. First-order changes are surface-level behavioral modifications, such as stopping a habit, following a new routine, or implementing coping strategies. While these changes may provide immediate relief or improvement, they often lack the depth necessary for long-term sustainability.

Second-order change, in contrast, involves fundamental shifts in our cognitive schemas, emotional regulation patterns, and core belief systems (Watzlawick et al., 1974). These more profound changes create the foundation upon which sustainable behavioral modifications can be built. When we address the emotional and cognitive roots of behavior, we create systemic change that naturally supports new ways of being.

Consider, for example, a client struggling with chronic anxiety who learns relaxation techniques. This first-order change may provide temporary relief, but without addressing the underlying cognitive patterns of catastrophic thinking and the emotional dysregulation that fuels the anxiety, the symptoms are likely to return. However, when we help the client develop awareness of their thought patterns, process underlying emotional wounds, and restructure their core beliefs about safety and control, we create second-order change that naturally reduces anxiety at its source.

The Foundation of Change: Awareness, Consciousness, and Mindfulness

The journey toward meaningful change begins with awareness. As I often tell my clients, transformation is impossible without first developing a clear understanding of what needs to be transformed. This awareness operates on multiple levels: cognitive awareness of our thought patterns, emotional awareness of our feeling states, and somatic awareness of our bodily responses to stress and triggers.

Prochaska and DiClemente’s Stages of Change model offers a practical framework for understanding how awareness evolves into action (Prochaska & DiClemente, 1983). The model identifies six stages that individuals progress through when making lasting changes:

Precontemplation

At this stage, individuals are often unaware that a problem exists or that change is necessary. They may be in denial about the impact of their behaviors on themselves and others. The therapeutic work here focuses on raising awareness and helping clients begin to see patterns they previously couldn’t recognize.

Contemplation

Awareness begins to emerge, and individuals start to recognize that change may be beneficial. However, they remain ambivalent, weighing the costs and benefits of change. This stage is characterized by increased self-reflection and exploration of the problem.

Preparation

The decision to change has been made, and individuals begin to take small steps toward transformation. They may start gathering information, seeking support, or making preliminary changes to their environment.

Action

This stage involves implementing specific strategies and behaviors to create change. It requires significant commitment and energy as individuals work to establish new patterns while resisting the pull of old habits.

Maintenance

The focus shifts to sustaining the changes that have been made and preventing relapse. This stage requires ongoing vigilance and the continued use of coping strategies.

Termination

The new behaviors become so integrated that the individual no longer feels tempted to return to old patterns. The change has become an integral part of their identity, rather than something they must actively maintain.

This model illustrates how awareness naturally progresses to ownership and action. Each stage requires specific interventions and support to facilitate movement to the next level of change.

Extending Awareness to Relational Systems

Just as individual change requires awareness of internal patterns, relationship transformation—whether in couples or families—demands an expanded awareness that encompasses the interactive patterns and systemic dynamics between individuals. In my work with couples and families, I’ve observed that sustainable relationship change cannot occur through individual efforts alone; it requires each person to develop awareness of how their individual patterns intersect with and influence the relational system as a whole. This includes recognizing communication patterns, power dynamics, emotional triangles, and the unspoken rules that govern family interactions. For instance, a couple may each work individually on their anger management and communication skills, but without awareness of their cyclical pattern of pursuit and withdrawal, or how their family-of-origin experiences create complementary dysfunctions, their individual changes may actually make more tension in the relationship. True relational transformation occurs when partners or family members can simultaneously hold awareness of their own internal processes while also observing and taking responsibility for their contribution to systemic patterns. This dual awareness—of self and system—allows for coordinated change efforts where individual growth supports rather than threatens the relationship, creating space for authentic intimacy and healthier family functioning.

Developing Emotional Intelligence Through Awareness

Emotional intelligence—the ability to recognize, understand, and regulate our emotions while empathizing with others—is a crucial component of second-order change (Goleman, 1995). Many of the behavioral patterns we seek to change are driven by emotional reactions that occur below the threshold of consciousness. By developing emotional awareness and regulation skills, we gain access to the emotional drivers of our behavior.

The process of developing emotional intelligence begins with what I call “emotional mapping”—learning to identify and name our emotional experiences with precision. Many clients come to therapy with limited emotional vocabulary, describing complex feeling states with simple terms like “stressed” or “upset.” Through mindfulness practices and focused attention, we can cultivate the ability to recognize subtle emotional states and their corresponding cognitive and somatic markers.

This awareness then extends to understanding emotional triggers and patterns. Clients learn to recognize the early warning signs of emotional dysregulation and develop strategies for intervention before reactive patterns take over. This represents a shift from being controlled by emotions to creating a collaborative relationship with our emotional life.

Transformational Skills: The Tools for Change

Once awareness has been established, the next phase involves developing what I term “transformational skills”—the specific abilities needed to create and maintain change. These skills can be broadly categorized into several domains:

Cognitive Restructuring Skills

The ability to identify distorted thought patterns, challenge unhelpful beliefs, and develop more balanced and realistic cognitive frameworks. This includes skills such as thought monitoring, cognitive reframing, and the development of adaptive self-talk (Beck, 1976).

Emotional Regulation Skills

Techniques for managing intense emotions, including distress tolerance, emotion surfing, and developing self-soothing strategies. These skills help individuals remain functional during emotional storms and prevent impulsive reactions (Linehan, 1993).

Interpersonal Skills

The capacity to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and navigate relationships in ways that support rather than undermine change efforts. Many behavioral patterns are maintained by dysfunctional relationship dynamics that must be addressed for lasting change to occur.

Mindfulness and Present-Moment Awareness

The cultivation of non-judgmental awareness of present-moment experience, including thoughts, emotions, sensations, and environmental factors. This skill forms the foundation for all other transformational abilities (Kabat-Zinn, 1994).

Behavioral Activation and Goal-Setting

The ability to identify values-based goals and take consistent action toward their achievement, even in the presence of obstacles or setbacks.

Like any skill set, transformational skills improve with practice and application. Initially, clients may find these skills awkward or challenging to implement. However, with consistent use, they become more natural and automatic, eventually requiring less conscious effort to maintain.

The Neurobiological Foundation of Change

Understanding the brain science behind change can be empowering for both therapists and clients. Neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to reorganize and form new neural connections throughout life—provides the biological foundation for all psychological change (Doidge, 2007). When we engage in new ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, we literally rewire our brains.

Chronic stress and trauma can create rigid neural pathways that maintain problematic patterns of thinking and behaving. The amygdala, which is responsible for threat detection, can become hyperactive, while the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for executive functioning and emotional regulation, may become less active. This neurobiological state makes change more difficult but not impossible.

Therapeutic interventions that promote mindfulness, emotional regulation, and cognitive flexibility help strengthen prefrontal cortex functioning while calming amygdala reactivity. Through repeated practice of new skills and behaviors, we create new neural pathways that support healthier patterns of functioning. Over time, these new pathways can become the brain’s preferred routes, making positive changes feel more natural and automatic.

The process of neuroplasticity also explains why change takes time and why consistent practice is essential. Each time we choose a new response over an old pattern, we strengthen the neural pathways associated with the new behavior while weakening those associated with the old pattern. This is why I often tell clients that change is not a destination but a practice—a daily commitment to choosing new responses over familiar ones.

Trauma-Informed Change Work

No discussion of change work would be complete without addressing trauma’s impact on our capacity for transformation. Trauma, whether acute or developmental, creates disruptions in our nervous system that can significantly impact our ability to engage in change processes (van der Kolk, 2014).

Traumatic experiences often overwhelm our natural coping resources, leading to the development of survival strategies that may have been adaptive in dangerous situations but become problematic in current contexts. Many of the behaviors clients want to change—addiction, relationship difficulties, emotional dysregulation—can be understood as trauma responses that have outlived their usefulness.

Trauma-informed change work recognizes that healing must address both the psychological and physiological impacts of traumatic experiences. This often requires a combination of top-down approaches (cognitive interventions that help make sense of experiences) and bottom-up approaches (body-based interventions that help regulate the nervous system).

Top-Down Processing for Change

Top-down approaches work through the neocortex to influence lower brain regions. These interventions include:

  • Cognitive restructuring to address trauma-related beliefs about safety, trust, and self-worth
  • Narrative therapy techniques that help clients develop coherent stories about their experiences
  • Psychoeducation about trauma’s impact on the brain and nervous system
  • Mindfulness practices that strengthen prefrontal cortex functioning

Bottom-Up Processing for Change

Bottom-up approaches work directly with the body and nervous system to promote regulation and healing:

  • Somatic experiencing techniques that help discharge trapped trauma energy
  • Breathwork and other nervous-system regulation practices
  • Movement and dance therapies that help restore natural rhythms
  • EMDR and other therapies that work directly with traumatic memories stored in the body

The most effective trauma-informed change work integrates both approaches, recognizing that healing occurs through multiple pathways and that different clients may respond better to various interventions.

Mastering Awareness: The First Phase of Transformation

The development of awareness is not a one-time achievement but an ongoing practice that deepens over time. I conceptualize this as the first significant phase of personal transformation—learning to observe ourselves with clarity, compassion, and accuracy.

This phase involves several key developments:

Meta-Cognitive Awareness

Learning to observe our thoughts without being controlled by them. This includes recognizing thought patterns, understanding the difference between thoughts and facts, and developing the ability to step back from our mental content.

Emotional Awareness

Developing the capacity to recognize, name, and track our emotional experiences throughout the day. This includes understanding emotional triggers, recognizing the physical sensations associated with various emotions, and learning to tolerate difficult emotional states without resorting to immediate action.

Somatic Awareness

Tuning into the wisdom of the body and recognizing how stress, trauma, and emotional states manifest in physical sensations. This includes learning to use the body as an early warning system for emotional dysregulation.

Relational Awareness

Understanding our patterns in relationships, including how we contribute to relationship dynamics and how our past experiences influence our current interactions.

Values Awareness

Clarifying what matters most to us and understanding when our actions align with or contradict our most deeply held values.

Mastering Transformation: The Second Phase

Once a solid foundation of awareness has been established, the focus shifts to mastering transformation—the skillful application of change strategies in real-world situations. This second phase is characterized by several key developments:

Flexible Response Repertoire

Rather than being limited to automatic reactions, individuals develop multiple options for responding to challenging situations. They can choose responses based on effectiveness rather than habit.

Emotional Regulation Mastery

The ability to remain centered and responsive even in highly charged emotional situations. This includes skills such as self-soothing, distress tolerance, and maintaining perspective during challenging times.

Interpersonal Effectiveness

The capacity to maintain relationships while also maintaining personal boundaries and values. This includes skills for communication, conflict resolution, and collaborative problem-solving.

Resilience and Recovery

The ability to bounce back from setbacks and maintain forward momentum even when progress is not linear. This includes skills for self-compassion, meaning-making, and adaptive coping.

Practical Applications and Interventions

The theoretical framework outlined above translates into specific therapeutic interventions and practices:

Mindfulness-Based Interventions

Regular mindfulness practice helps develop the awareness necessary for change while also strengthening the neural pathways associated with emotional regulation and cognitive flexibility.

Cognitive-Behavioral Techniques

Traditional CBT interventions remain valuable for helping clients identify and modify problematic thought patterns; however, they are most effective when integrated into a broader, systems-based approach.

Somatic Interventions

Body-based interventions help clients develop awareness of how emotions and stress manifest physically while also providing tools for nervous system regulation.

Interpersonal Skills Training

Many behavioral patterns are maintained by dysfunctional relationship dynamics. Teaching clients effective communication and boundary-setting skills often facilitates broader change.

Values Clarification Work

Helping clients identify their core values and align their actions with these values provides motivation and direction for change efforts.

Conclusion

Change work, at its essence, is about helping individuals move from unconscious reactivity to conscious responsivity. This transformation requires more than surface-level behavioral modifications—it demands fundamental shifts in how we think, feel, and relate to ourselves and others.

The journey begins with awareness. As I’ve emphasized throughout my practice, you cannot change what you are not aware of. This awareness must be cultivated patiently and compassionately, recognizing that many of our patterns developed as adaptive responses to earlier life circumstances.

Once awareness is established, the focus shifts to developing transformational skills—the specific abilities needed to create and maintain change. These skills, like any others, improve with practice and become more natural over time.

The integration of top-down and bottom-up approaches ensures that change work addresses both the cognitive and somatic dimensions of human experience. By working with both the mind and body, we create the conditions for profound, lasting transformation.

Perhaps most importantly, this approach recognizes that change is not a destination but a way of life. The skills we develop in therapy become lifelong tools for continued growth and adaptation. As we master awareness and transformation, we build the capacity to navigate life’s challenges with greater skill, resilience, and authenticity.

The work is not easy, but it is profoundly worthwhile. Each moment of increased awareness, each skillful response to a challenging situation, and each choice to act from values rather than habit contribute to the larger project of becoming who we are meant to be. In this way, change work becomes not just about solving problems but about discovering and expressing our fullest potential.

Love & Light

Kevin Brough – Ascend Counseling and Wellness, St. George, Utah – 435.688.1111 – kevin@ascendcw.com

References

Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. International Universities Press.

Doidge, N. (2007). The brain that changes itself: Stories of personal triumph from the frontiers of brain science. Viking.

Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence: Why it matters more than IQ. Bantam Books.

Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever you go, there you are: Mindfulness meditation in everyday life. Hyperion.

Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. Guilford Press.

Mahoney, M. J. (1991). Human change processes: The scientific foundations of psychotherapy. Basic Books.

Prochaska, J. O., & DiClemente, C. C. (1983). Stages and processes of self-change of smoking: Toward an integrative model of change. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 51(3), 390-395.

van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.

Watzlawick, P., Weakland, J. H., & Fisch, R. (1974). Change: Principles of problem formation and problem resolution. Norton.

May 1, 2025

Creating Balance

Creating Balance: Daily and Weekly Practices for ADHD and Bipolar Wellness

Living with ADHD or bipolar disorder presents unique challenges that can significantly impact daily functioning and overall well-being. However, with structured practices and intentional lifestyle choices, individuals with these conditions can achieve greater balance and stability. The LifeScaping Balance Wheel offers a holistic framework for addressing multiple dimensions of health, from cellular to life balance.

Understanding Cellular Balance

At the foundation of wellness is cellular balance. Our bodies consist of atoms that vibrate at specific frequencies, and these frequencies can be affected by what we consume, breathe, and experience. For those with ADHD or bipolar disorder, maintaining cellular balance is especially crucial because:

  • Toxic substances, adverse environmental exposures, and stress can lower the body’s bio-electric field.
  • A balanced cellular environment supports optimal brain function.
  • Self-regulation of cellular systems can improve focus, mood stability, and energy levels.

Body Balance: Creating Physical Homeostasis

Homeostasis—the body’s ability to maintain internal stability—can be particularly challenging for individuals with ADHD and bipolar disorder. Key practices to support body balance include:

Exercise & Fitness Practices

  • Daily Movement: 30 minutes of moderate activity daily, even broken into three 10-minute sessions
  • Nature Walks: Combining exercise with grounding in natural environments
  • Rhythmic Activities: Swimming, dancing, or cycling can help regulate brain waves
  • Strength Training: Twice weekly sessions to build muscle and improve body awareness
  • Consistency Over Intensity: Establish a sustainable routine rather than pushing too hard

Nutrition Strategies

  • Regular Meal Timing: Eating at consistent times helps stabilize blood sugar and mood
  • Protein with Every Meal: Supports sustained focus and attention
  • Omega-3 Rich Foods: Fatty fish, walnuts, and flaxseeds support brain health.
  • Complex Carbohydrates: Provide steady energy without spikes and crashes
  • Hydration: Aim for half your body weight in ounces of water daily
  • Minimize Stimulants: Reduce caffeine and sugar, which can exacerbate symptoms.
  • Food Journal: Track how different foods affect your mood and focus

Brain Balance: Managing Cognitive Function

The brain’s electrical patterns are particularly relevant for those with ADHD and bipolar conditions. Practices to support brain balance include:

Daily Brain-Balancing Routines

  • Meditation: Start with just 5 minutes daily and gradually increase
  • Breathwork: Practice 4-7-8 breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8) during transitions
  • Brain Training: Use apps designed for cognitive skills like attention and memory
  • State-Shifting Activities: Learn to recognize when you’re in Beta (active), Alpha (creative), or Theta (intuitive) states
  • Single-Tasking: Focus on one activity at a time with full attention
  • Cognitive Breaks: Take 5-minute mental rest periods between tasks

Inner Balance: Emotional Regulation

Heart rhythm patterns significantly impact cognitive function and emotional stability, a crucial area for those with ADHD and bipolar disorder:

Emotional Regulation Practices

  • Heart-Focused Breathing: Practice coherent breathing while focusing attention on the heart area
  • Mood Tracking: Journal daily to identify patterns and triggers
  • Emotional First Aid Kit: Create a personalized list of activities that help during emotional extremes
  • Gratitude Practice: Note three specific things you’re grateful for each day
  • Visualization: Spend 5 minutes daily imagining yourself handling challenging situations calmly
  • Body Scanning: Regular check-ins to notice where you hold tension
  • Social Connection: Schedule regular time with supportive people

Mind Balance: Integrating Feminine and Masculine Energies

Creating a balance between flexibility (traditionally associated with feminine energy) and structure (usually associated with masculine energy) is beneficial for ADHD and bipolar management:

Mind Balancing Practices

  • Structured Flexibility: Create routines with built-in options
  • Perceptual Position Shifts: Practice seeing situations from multiple perspectives
  • Self-Observation: Regular check-ins about your thinking patterns without judgment
  • Values Clarification: Regularly revisit what matters most to you
  • Intention Setting: Begin each day with clear, positive intentions
  • Mindful Media Consumption: Be selective about information intake

Life Balance: Integrating Work and Lifestyle

Achieving proper prioritization between career demands and personal well-being is essential for those with ADHD and bipolar disorder:

Weekly Life Balance Practices

  • Sunday Planning: Set aside time to plan the week ahead
  • Time Blocking: Designate specific times for work, relationships, and self-care
  • Energy Management: Schedule demanding tasks during your natural high-energy periods
  • Boundary Setting: Practice saying no to activities that deplete your resources
  • Leisure Without Guilt: Schedule time for enjoyable activities as non-negotiable appointments
  • Nature Connection: Spend time outdoors at least twice weekly
  • Digital Detox: Establish regular periods without screens

Activities to Achieve Life Balance

When choosing activities for your weekly routine, focus on those that bring peace, joy, and balance. For ADHD and bipolar management, consider these specific approaches:

Self-Care Practices

  • Morning Routine: Establish consistent wake times and morning activities
  • Evening Wind-Down: Create a relaxing pre-sleep routine
  • Sensory Toolkit: Identify sounds, textures, and scents that help you feel grounded
  • Body Therapies: Consider regular massage, acupuncture, or other bodywork
  • Sleep Hygiene: Prioritize 7-9 hours of quality sleep in a cool, dark room

Meditation/Prayer/Outdoors

  • Guided Meditations: Use recordings designed explicitly for ADHD or bipolar management
  • Ecotherapy: Intentional time in forests, near water, or in gardens
  • Sunlight Exposure: 15-30 minutes of morning sunlight daily
  • Grounding Practices: Direct physical contact with the earth (walking barefoot on grass)
  • Prayer or Spiritual Practice: Connect with something larger than yourself

Creativity Practices

  • Art Therapy: Expressive drawing without judgment
  • Music Therapy: Both creating and listening to music
  • Movement Therapy: Dance, tai chi, or other forms of expressive movement
  • Writing: Stream-of-consciousness journaling or creative writing
  • Cooking: Mindful food preparation as a creative outlet

Relationship Practices

  • Communication Skills: Learn and practice clear expression of needs
  • Support Groups: Connect with others who understand your experiences
  • Relationship Boundaries: Clearly define your needs in relationships
  • Quality Time: Focus on depth rather than breadth in relationships
  • Vulnerability Practice: Share appropriate struggles with trusted others

Lifestyle for Life Balance

Creating sustainable lifestyle habits is essential for long-term management of ADHD and bipolar symptoms:

Daily Lifestyle Considerations

  • Rhythm Over Rigidity: Create consistent daily patterns while allowing flexibility
  • Environmental Organization: Reduce visual clutter in living and working spaces
  • Light Management: Use blue light filters in the evenings and proper lighting during the day
  • Stress Management: Identify and minimize unnecessary stressors
  • Medication Integration: If prescribed, create reliable systems for medication adherence

Connections for Life Balance

The synergy of supportive relationships is significant for those with ADHD and bipolar disorder:

Building Supportive Connections

  • Professional Support: Regular sessions with healthcare providers
  • Peer Support: Connections with others who have similar experiences
  • Family Education: Help loved ones understand your condition
  • Communication Tools: Learn and practice non-violent communication
  • Boundary Setting: Clear, kind limits in all relationships

By integrating practices across these dimensions of the LifeScaping Balance Wheel, individuals with ADHD and bipolar disorder can create a more stable, fulfilling life experience. Remember that balance isn’t about perfection—creating sustainable patterns supporting your unique needs and strengths.

The journey toward balance is ongoing and requires regular reassessment and adjustment. Consider starting with just one or two practices from each area, gradually building a personalized approach to wellness that honors the medicine wheel’s wisdom of interconnection and wholeness.

Thank you,

     Kevin Brough

Kevin Brough – Ascend Counseling & Wellness – Ascendcw.com – 435.688.1111 – kevin@ascendcw.com

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April 25, 2025

Breaking Free

Breaking Free: Evidence-Based Strategies for Young Adults to Overcome Self-Doubt and Build Authentic Self-Esteem

Introduction

Self-doubt and low self-esteem have become epidemic among young adults in today’s hyper-connected world. The constant barrage of carefully curated social media content, achievement-oriented educational environments, and economic uncertainty creates fertile ground for comparison, imposter syndrome, and persistent feelings of inadequacy. These psychological barriers don’t just cause emotional discomfort—they actively prevent young people from pursuing opportunities, expressing their authentic selves, and building meaningful relationships.

Research consistently shows that healthy self-esteem is foundational to well-being, resilience, and achievement. It’s not about developing an inflated sense of self-importance, but rather cultivating a balanced, realistic self-perception that acknowledges both strengths and areas for growth. This white paper explores evidence-based therapeutic approaches and practical strategies that can transform how young adults view themselves, ultimately freeing them from self-sabotage and empowering them to live more authentically.

The Self-Esteem Crisis Among Young Adults

Recent studies paint a concerning picture of young adult mental health. A 2023 survey by the American Psychological Association found that 73% of Gen Z adults (ages 18-26) reported struggling with self-doubt that significantly impacted their daily functioning. Similarly, research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology revealed that college students today score approximately 40% higher on measures of self-criticism than their counterparts from the 1980s.

This crisis manifests in multiple ways:

A meta-analysis published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology examined 13 studies focusing on CBT interventions for self-esteem. The analysis found that CBT significantly improved self-esteem, with effects maintained during follow-up assessments.

  • Academic and career self-sabotage: Avoiding challenges, procrastinating, or undermining success due to fears of failure or feeling undeserving
  • Social withdrawal: Limiting meaningful connections due to fears of rejection or beliefs that one is inherently unlovable
  • Perfectionism: Setting impossibly high standards that perpetuate feelings of inadequacy when inevitably unmet
  • Negative self-talk: Maintaining an internal dialogue filled with criticism, doubt, and harsh judgment

The good news is that psychological research has identified numerous evidence-based techniques for building healthy self-esteem. Let’s explore these approaches.

1. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: Restructuring Self-Defeating Thoughts

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most empirically supported approaches for addressing negative self-perception and building self-esteem. At its core, CBT addresses the fundamental relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, helping individuals identify and challenge the distorted thinking patterns that fuel self-doubt.

The Thought-Feeling-Behavior Connection

Young adults with low self-esteem often engage in automatic negative thoughts that go unchallenged. For example, after receiving constructive feedback, someone might immediately think, “I’m completely incompetent and will never succeed.” This thought triggers feelings of shame and anxiety, which then lead to avoidance behaviors that reinforce the original negative belief.

CBT breaks this cycle by teaching individuals to:

  1. Identify cognitive distortions: Recognizing patterns like all-or-nothing thinking, catastrophizing, or personalization
  2. Gather evidence: Objectively evaluating the accuracy of negative self-beliefs
  3. Develop alternative perspectives: Creating more balanced, realistic interpretations

Research-Backed CBT Techniques for Self-Esteem

Two efficient CBT exercises include:

Thought Records: Documenting negative thoughts, identifying the distortion type, and creating alternative responses. For example:

  • Negative thought: “I completely bombed that presentation. Everyone thinks I’m incompetent.”
  • Evidence for: “I stumbled over a few words.”
  • Evidence against: “I covered all key points. Three people complimented specific aspects afterward.”
  • Balanced thought: “While I wasn’t perfect, I communicated the essential information effectively. Public speaking is a skill I’m still developing.”

Behavioral Experiments involve testing negative predictions through real-world actions. For instance, if someone believes, “If I share my opinion in class, everyone will think I’m stupid,” they might intentionally contribute to the discussion and record actual outcomes, which typically contradict catastrophic expectations.

2. Mindfulness Practices: Cultivating Present-Moment Awareness and Self-Acceptance

While CBT addresses the content of negative thoughts, mindfulness-based approaches focus on changing one’s relationship to thoughts and emotions. Rather than being swept away by self-criticism, mindfulness teaches young adults to observe their inner experiences with curiosity and compassion.

The Science Behind Mindfulness and Self-Esteem

Research in neuropsychology has demonstrated that regular mindfulness practice can change brain structure and function in areas related to self-perception. A study published in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience found that after an 8-week mindfulness program, participants showed decreased activity in the default mode network—a brain region associated with self-referential thoughts and rumination—and increased self-compassion scores.

Practical Mindfulness Techniques for Young Adults

Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC): Developed by Drs. Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer, MSC, combine mindfulness with self-directed kindness. Research shows that self-compassion is strongly linked to psychological well-being and resilience against self-doubt.

A core MSC practice is the “Self-Compassion Break”:

  1. Acknowledge suffering: “This is a moment of difficulty.”
  2. Recognize common humanity: “Struggle is part of shared human experience.”
  3. Offer self-kindness: “May I be kind to myself now.”

S.T.O.P. Practice: This brief mindfulness exercise is beneficial during moments of intense self-criticism:

  • Stop what you’re doing
  • Take a few breaths
  • Observe your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment
  • Proceed with awareness and intention

Regularly implementing these practices helps young adults develop the capacity to witness self-critical thoughts rather than become entangled in them. Over time, this creates psychological space for more balanced self-evaluation.

3. Positive Psychology: Leveraging Character Strengths and Fostering Growth Mindset

While addressing negative patterns is crucial, building self-esteem requires actively cultivating positive self-perception. Positive psychology offers evidence-based approaches for identifying personal strengths and developing a growth-oriented perspective.

Strengths-Based Assessment and Application

Research from the VIA Institute on Character has demonstrated that identifying and regularly using personal character strengths significantly increases well-being and self-efficacy. The VIA Classification includes 24 character strengths organized under six core virtues, providing a comprehensive framework for recognizing personal assets.

Young adults can:

  1. Complete the free VIA Survey (available at viacharacter.org)
  2. Identify “signature strengths”—their top 5-7 naturally occurring strengths
  3. Intentionally apply these strengths in daily activities and challenges

For instance, someone with the signature strength of “love of learning” might reframe academic challenges as opportunities to deepen knowledge rather than tests of fixed ability. This perspective shift helps transform potential triggers for self-doubt into sources of engagement and confidence.

Cultivating Growth Mindset

Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on mindset has revolutionized our understanding of achievement and self-perception. Her studies show that individuals with a “growth mindset”—who view abilities as developable through effort and learning—demonstrate greater resilience, achievement, and positive self-regard than those with a “fixed mindset.”

For young adults struggling with self-doubt, developing a growth mindset involves:

  • Reframing failures as learning opportunities
  • Celebrating effort and process rather than focusing exclusively on outcomes
  • Using the word “yet” (e.g., “I haven’t mastered this skill yet”)
  • Seeking challenges that stretch capabilities

A longitudinal study published in Child Development found that brief growth mindset interventions significantly improved academic achievement and self-esteem, with effects persisting for up to nine months.

4. Dialectical Behavior Therapy: Building Emotional Regulation and Distress Tolerance

Many young adults with self-esteem issues struggle with intense emotional reactions that reinforce negative self-perception. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), initially developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan, offers powerful tools for managing difficult emotions and building self-respect.

Core DBT Skills for Self-Esteem Enhancement

Emotional Regulation: DBT teaches specific techniques for identifying, understanding, and moderating emotional responses. This helps young adults avoid the emotional overwhelm that often triggers harsh self-judgment.

Key practices include:

  • The “PLEASE” skill (treating Physical illness, balanced Eating, avoiding mood-Altering substances, balanced Sleep, and Exercise)
  • Opposite action (acting contrary to the urge produced by painful emotions)
  • Building positive emotional experiences

Distress Tolerance: These skills help individuals cope with painful situations without worsening them through impulsive reactions that later become sources of self-criticism.

Research in the Journal of Clinical Psychology demonstrated that DBT-based interventions significantly improved self-concept and decreased self-destructive behaviors among young adults.

5. Self-Compassion Practice: The Antidote to Self-Criticism

Self-compassion represents perhaps the most direct antidote to the harsh self-criticism that undermines young adult self-esteem. Dr. Kristin Neff, the pioneering researcher in this field, defines self-compassion as having three components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.

The Research Case for Self-Compassion

Multiple studies have found that self-compassion predicts psychological well-being more strongly than self-esteem. Unlike traditional self-esteem, which can be contingent on achievement or comparison to others, self-compassion provides a stable foundation for positive self-regard.

A meta-analysis published in Personality and Social Psychology Review examining 79 studies found that self-compassion was strongly associated with fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety, greater life satisfaction, and greater emotional resilience.

Practical Self-Compassion Exercises

Self-Compassionate Letter: Writing a letter to oneself from the perspective of an unconditionally loving friend who clearly sees all your strengths and struggles.

Compassionate Touch: Placing a hand on your heart, cheek, or arm during moments of distress activates the parasympathetic nervous system and releases oxytocin, according to research.

Changing Critical Self-Talk: Reframing self-talk to be encouraging rather than harsh. For example, replacing “You’re so lazy and disorganized” with “You’re having difficulty getting motivated right now. What small step could you take?”

6. Trauma-Informed Approaches: Healing Deeper Wounds

For many young adults, self-esteem issues have roots in adverse childhood experiences, relational trauma, or identity-based discrimination. Addressing these deeper wounds often requires trauma-informed approaches.

Understanding Trauma’s Impact on Self-Perception

Research from the field of developmental trauma reveals that early experiences of criticism, neglect, or abuse can become internalized as core beliefs about one’s fundamental worth and lovability. These beliefs operate at an implicit level, often outside conscious awareness, yet profoundly influence self-perception and behavior.

Effective Trauma-Informed Strategies

Internal Family Systems (IFS): This evidence-based therapy helps individuals identify and heal “parts” of themselves that carry shame or negative self-beliefs resulting from painful experiences. Research published in the Journal of Psychotherapy Integration found that IFS therapy significantly improved self-concept and reduced shame.

Somatic Approaches: Recognizing that trauma and self-doubt are stored in the body, somatic approaches help young adults reconnect with physical sensations as a pathway to healing. Practices might include:

  • Body scans to identify where tension manifests during self-criticism
  • Grounding techniques to establish safety during activated states
  • Movement practices that promote agency and self-expression

7. Social Connection and Community Belonging

Humans are inherently social creatures, and our sense of self is deeply intertwined with our relationships. For young adults navigating self-doubt, meaningful connection and community belonging provide crucial external validation and support for developing healthier self-perception.

The Research Connection Between Relationships and Self-Esteem

A longitudinal study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that the quality of close relationships predicted changes in self-esteem over time more strongly than professional or academic achievements. Other research demonstrates that feelings of belonging and social connectedness buffer against the impact of adverse events on self-worth.

Building Supportive Social Environments

Young adults can strengthen self-esteem through:

Authentic Self-Disclosure: Gradually sharing genuine thoughts, feelings, and experiences with trusted others, which research shows deepens connections and provides opportunities for validation.

Contribution and Purpose: Engaging in meaningful service or collaborative projects that highlight one’s ability to positively impact others and belong to something larger than oneself.

Selective Social Media Use: Intentionally curating online experiences to minimize comparison triggers and maximize genuine connection.

Yeager, D. S., & Dweck, C. S. (2020). What can be learned from growth mindset controversies? American Psychologist, 75(9), 1269-1284.

Practical Implementation: Creating Your Personalized Self-Esteem Building Plan

The most effective approach to building authentic self-esteem combines multiple strategies tailored to individual needs and preferences. Young adults can create a personalized plan using the following framework:

  1. Assessment: Identify specific manifestations of self-doubt (e.g., perfectionism, fear of judgment, avoidance behaviors)
  2. Strategy Selection: Choose 2-3 approaches from this paper that resonate most strongly
  3. Habit Integration: Implement small, consistent practices rather than attempting dramatic changes
  4. Progress Tracking: Monitor changes in thoughts, feelings, and behaviors using journaling or digital tools
  5. Professional Support: Consider working with a therapist or coach trained in evidence-based approaches

Conclusion: From Self-Doubt to Authentic Self-Expression

Building healthy self-esteem is not about eliminating all self-doubt or achieving constant confidence. Instead, it’s about developing a resilient, compassionate relationship with oneself that allows for authentic expression and meaningful engagement with life despite inevitable uncertainties and setbacks.

The evidence-based approaches outlined in this white paper—from cognitive restructuring and mindfulness to strengths-based practices and trauma healing—offer young adults concrete pathways for transforming their relationship with themselves. By consistently implementing these strategies, young adults can break free from self-sabotage patterns and develop the internal resources needed to pursue their aspirations, express their unique gifts, and build meaningful connections.

The journey toward authentic self-esteem may not always be a linear process. Still, each step taken toward self-understanding and self-compassion represents a powerful act of personal liberation. Developing these internal resources may be among the most essential investments young adults can make in their future well-being and fulfillment in a world that often seems designed to undermine self-worth.

Kevin Brough – Ascend Counseling & Wellness – Ascendcw.com – 435.688.1111 – kevin@ascendcw.com

References

American Psychological Association. (2023). Stress in America: The impact of stress on American youth.

Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.

Germer, C. K., & Neff, K. D. (2019). Teaching the mindful self-compassion program: A guide for professionals. Guilford Publications.

Harris, M. A., & Orth, U. (2020). The link between self-esteem and social relationships: A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 119(6), 1459-1477.

Linehan, M. M. (2014). DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self-compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28-44.

Neff, K. D., & Vonk, R. (2009). Self-compassion versus global self-esteem: Two different ways of relating to oneself. Journal of Personality, 77(1), 23-50.

Park, N., Peterson, C., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2004). Strengths of character and well-being. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 23(5), 603-619.

Zessin, U., Dickhäuser, O., & Garbade, S. (2015). The relationship between self‐compassion and well‐being: A meta‐analysis. Applied Psychology: Health and Well‐Being, 7(3), 340-364.

April 14, 2025

The Overwhelmed Mind: Understanding Cognitive Overload Through Kappasinian Theory and Effective Coping Strategies

Abstract
This article explores cognitive overload through the lens of Dr. John Kappas’ “Theory of Mind,” examining how excessive message units overwhelm our critical faculties, leading to heightened suggestibility and anxiety. The paper emphasizes practical strategies for managing cognitive burden and restoring optimal mental functioning, including mindfulness techniques, prioritization methods, and the crucial role of REM sleep in cognitive resilience. By understanding the mechanisms of mental overload and implementing evidence-based interventions, individuals can develop effective strategies to regain cognitive balance in our information-saturated world.

Introduction
In today’s hyperconnected world, our minds are constantly bombarded with information—emails ping, notifications flash, deadlines loom, and an endless stream of news and social media vie for our limited attention. This deluge of input isn’t just annoying; it fundamentally affects how our brains function. When faced with excessive information, our minds can become overwhelmed, leading to a state that hypnotherapists like Dr. John Kappas have studied extensively.
As a practitioner of hypnotherapy and student of cognitive psychology, I’ve observed firsthand how mental overload impacts my clients—and often myself. Drawing on Dr. Kappas’ “Theory of Mind,” I’ll explore how cognitive overload disrupts our mental equilibrium and creates a state of heightened suggestibility and anxiety. More importantly, I’ll share evidence-based strategies to manage information overload and restore cognitive balance.


Understanding Cognitive Overload Through Kappasinian Theory
Dr. John Kappas’ “Theory of Mind” provides a valuable framework for understanding how our brains respond to information overload. According to Kappas, the mind consists of four distinct components (not physical brain locations, but functional elements): the Primitive Area, Modern Memory, Conscious Area, and Critical Area (Kappas, n.d.).
The Critical Area, which forms around age 8 or 9, acts as a cognitive filter, evaluating incoming information and determining what enters our Modern Memory. When we’re bombarded with excessive “message units”—bits of information requiring processing—this Critical Area becomes overwhelmed. As a result, our protective filter breaks down, triggering our primitive fight-or-flight response and creating a hyper-suggestible state like hypnosis (Kappas, n.d.).
This cognitive overwhelm has significant consequences. When our Critical Area is compromised, we become more vulnerable to suggestion and experience heightened anxiety, potentially contributing to conditions like Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Our decision-making abilities deteriorate, our perception narrows, and we often find ourselves caught in unproductive thought patterns.
The modern world is particularly adept at generating message unit overload. Research on brain overload noted, “Our brains are incredible organs, capable of processing vast amounts of information. But even the mightiest supercomputer has its limits” (Brain Overload, n.d.). Contemporary life’s constant notifications, multitasking demands, and information bombardment create perfect conditions for overwhelming our Critical Area.

Signs of Cognitive Overload
Before exploring solutions, it’s important to recognize when our minds are approaching or experiencing overload. Common indicators include:

  1. Difficulty concentrating – Finding it challenging to focus on even simple tasks that don’t require much knowledge (Psychologs Magazine, 2024).
  2. Decreased decision-making ability: Being perplexed and overwhelmed when faced with choices results in diminished capacity to make objective decisions (Psychologs Magazine, 2024).
  3. Impaired memory – Struggling to encode new information and retrieve existing knowledge (Psychologs Magazine, 2024).
  4. Heightened stress and anxiety – Experiencing elevated cortisol levels and physiological stress responses (Psychologs Magazine, 2024).
  5. Reduced performance – Noticing slower reaction times, decreased accuracy, and declining cognitive abilities (Psychologs Magazine, 2024).
  6. Irritability and mood fluctuations – Becoming emotionally fragile, with potential outbursts over minor issues (Brain Overload, n.d.).
  7. Mental fatigue – Feeling “wired but tired”—simultaneously exhausted yet unable to relax (Brain Overload, n.d.).
    When these symptoms appear, it signals that your Critical Area is struggling under an excessive message unit load. The good news is that there are numerous effective strategies to reduce this burden and restore cognitive equilibrium.

Strategies for Managing Cognitive Overload
This article focuses mainly on practical strategies to prevent and address cognitive overload. These approaches target different aspects of the overload cycle and can be adapted to individual needs.

  1. Mindfulness and Present-Moment Awareness
    Mindfulness practices create a mental space that allows your Critical Area to process accumulated message units more effectively. Research shows that regular mindfulness meditation can improve attention, working memory, and cognitive flexibility—all essential resources for managing information overload (Goleman & Davidson, 2017).
    One particularly effective grounding technique is the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise, which uses all five senses to anchor you in the present moment:
    • Identify 5 things you can see
    • Acknowledge 4 things you can hear
    • Notice 3 things you can touch
    • Recognize 2 things you can smell
    • Observe 1 thing you can taste
    This simple exercise interrupts spinning thoughts by redirecting attention to sensory experience, providing immediate relief from overwhelming mental activity (When the brain is overloaded, n.d.).
  2. Strategic Task Management and Prioritization
    When facing multiple demands, ruthless prioritization becomes essential. The Kappasinian framework suggests that decision-making capacity diminishes when the Critical Area is overwhelmed. Therefore, having predetermined systems for prioritization becomes invaluable.
    Effective approaches include:
    • Eisenhower Matrix: Categorize tasks based on urgency and importance, focusing first on urgent and vital tasks.
    • Single tasking: Contrary to the productivity myth of multitasking, focusing on one task at a time reduces cognitive load substantially. As noted in research, “multitasking works about as well as texting while driving, which is to say, it doesn’t” (When the brain is overloaded, n.d.).
    • Task chunking: Break complex projects into smaller, manageable components that don’t overwhelm your working memory.
    • Time blocking: Allocate specific timeframes for different types of work, creating mental boundaries that prevent cognitive spillovers.
  3. Environmental Management
    Your physical environment significantly impacts cognitive load. Creating spaces that reduce unnecessary message units can provide substantial relief:
    • Physical organization: A cluttered space creates visual noise that adds to the cognitive burden. Simple tidying of your surroundings can provide immediate mental relief (When the brain is overloaded, n.d.).
    • Digital decluttering: Implement deliberate strategies to reduce digital noise. This includes turning off non-essential notifications, establishing “no-phone zones,” using apps that limit screen time, and periodically disconnecting from digital devices (Brain Overload, n.d.).
    • Sensory management: Control noise levels, lighting, and other sensory inputs contributing to cognitive load.
  4. Strategic Rest and Cognitive Recovery
    Regular intervals of mental rest are crucial for maintaining critical faculty functioning. Research suggests that breaks or rest pauses between work facilitate productivity and motivation. Without sufficient rest, the brain experiences “time out,” putting individuals under cognitive overload (Psychologs Magazine, 2024).
    Effective rest strategies include:
    • Pomodoro Technique: Work in focused 25-minute intervals followed by 5-minute breaks, with longer breaks after four work sessions.
    • Nature exposure: Even brief interactions with natural environments can restore attention and reduce cognitive fatigue.
    • Microbreaks: Brief 30-60-second mental pauses throughout the day can prevent cognitive resources from depleting.
  5. Physical Exercise and Movement
    Exercise isn’t just beneficial for physical health—it’s a powerful intervention for cognitive overwhelm. Physical activity increases cerebral blood flow, releases mood-enhancing endorphins, and even stimulates neurogenesis (the growth of new brain cells) (Brain Overload, n.d.).
    Research demonstrates that regular exercise enhances cognitive functions, including those involved in filtering and processing information (Ratey & Hagerman, 2008). Even brief movement breaks—a short walk, quick stretching session, or brief dance break—can interrupt the cycle of mental overload and restore cognitive resources.
  6. REM Sleep Optimization
    One critical but often overlooked strategy for managing cognitive overload is ensuring sufficient REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep. During REM sleep, the brain processes emotional experiences, consolidates learning, and essentially “resets” many cognitive systems, particularly those involved in working memory and critical thinking.
    Sleep researcher Matthew Walker notes that REM sleep plays a crucial role in emotional regulation and cognitive processing, precisely the functions that become compromised during overload (Walker, 2017). Insufficient REM sleep impairs the Critical Area’s ability to filter information effectively, making us more vulnerable to cognitive overwhelm.
    To optimize REM sleep:
    • Maintain consistent sleep and wake times
    • Avoid alcohol before bed (it suppresses REM sleep)
    • Create a cool, dark sleeping environment
    • Limit screen exposure before bedtime
    • Practice relaxation techniques to improve sleep quality
    By prioritizing quality sleep, you provide your Critical Area with essential recovery time, enhancing its ability to process message units effectively during waking hours.
  7. Cognitive Reframing and Radical Acceptance
    When faced with overwhelming situations beyond your control, cognitive strategies can prevent additional mental burden. Two particularly effective approaches are:
    • Cognitive reframing: Actively changing how you interpret situations to reduce their perceived threat level, thereby decreasing stress response and cognitive load.
    • Radical acceptance: Acknowledging what cannot be controlled without struggle or complaint, redirecting mental resources to manageable aspects of your situation (When the brain is overloaded, n.d.).
    These approaches don’t eliminate external stressors but reduce the internal message units generated by unproductive reactions to those stressors.
  8. HEAL Method for Negativity Bias Counteraction
    Our brains naturally cling to negative experiences—an evolutionary adaptation less helpful in modern contexts. Psychologist Rick Hanson’s HEAL method offers a structured approach to counterbalance this negativity bias:
    • Have a good experience: Notice positive moments
    • Enrich it: Intensify the experience by focusing on details
    • Absorb it: Imagine the positive experience soaking into you
    • Link it: Connect the positive feeling to negative experiences to rewrite neural patterns
    This practice can help reduce the cognitive burden created by our tendency to amplify negative information (HEAL, n.d.).
  9. Social Support Utilization
    From a Kappasinian perspective, social connection can help regulate our primitive responses to overwhelm. Seeking support isn’t merely emotional comfort; it’s a biological intervention that can calm stress responses and improve cognitive functioning.
    Research indicates that social engagement activates the parasympathetic nervous system, counteracting the fight-or-flight response triggered by an overwhelmed Critical Area (HEAL, n.d.). Simply touching a partner or pet can initiate this calming response. Similarly, collaborative efforts with colleagues can distribute cognitive load, making overwhelming tasks more manageable (Psychologs Magazine, 2024).
  10. Technology-Assisted Management
    While technology often contributes to cognitive overload, strategic use of digital tools can also help manage it:
    • External storage systems: Consider using note-taking apps, digital calendars, and project management tools as “external hard drives” for your brain, reducing the load on your working memory.
    • Automation: Setting up systems for routine tasks, freeing mental resources for more important matters.
    • Focus apps: Employing applications to block distractions during designated work periods.
    Implementing a Personalized Approach

Implementing a Personalized Approach

The most effective approach to managing cognitive overload combines multiple strategies tailored to individual needs and circumstances. Consider developing a personalized “cognitive overload protocol”—a predetermined plan for addressing mental overwhelm when it occurs.

This protocol might include:

  • Early warning system: Identify your personal signals of impending overload
  • Immediate interventions: Quick techniques to implement when the first signs appear
  • Escalation plan: More comprehensive strategies if initial interventions aren’t sufficient
  • Preventive practices: Regular habits that build cognitive resilience
    By establishing this framework in advance, you can reduce the decision fatigue associated with determining how to respond when you are already overwhelmed.

Conclusion
Cognitive overload isn’t merely a modern inconvenience; it’s a significant challenge that affects our psychological well-being, decision-making abilities, and overall functioning. Through the lens of Dr. Kappas’ Theory of Mind, we can understand how excessive message units overwhelm our Critical Area, triggering primitive stress responses and creating states of heightened suggestibility and anxiety.
Fortunately, we’re not helpless against this cognitive deluge. We can strengthen our mental filters and restore cognitive equilibrium by implementing the strategies outlined in this article—from mindfulness practices and environmental management to optimizing REM sleep and utilizing social support.
In our information-saturated world, managing cognitive load isn’t just a useful skill—it’s an essential component of psychological well-being and effective functioning. By understanding the mechanisms of overload and proactively implementing evidence-based interventions, we can navigate modern demands while maintaining mental clarity and resilience.


References
Brain Overload. (n.d.). In an era of relentless information bombardment, our brains are
silently screaming for respite.
Goleman, D., & Davidson, R. J. (2017). Altered traits: Science reveals how meditation
Change your mind, brain, and body. Avery.
HEAL. (n.d.). A simple way to offset your brain’s negativity bias.
Kappas, J. (n.d.). Theory of Mind. The mind is divided into four areas; all of which must be
affected to enter the state of hypnosis.
Psychologs Magazine. (2024, March 7). Cognitive overload: Causes, symptoms and coping
strategies. Psychologs Magazine. https://psychologs.com/cognitive-overload-
causes-symptoms-and-coping-strategies/
Ratey, J. J., & Hagerman, E. (2008). Spark: The revolutionary new science of exercise and
the brain. Little, Brown and Company.
Walker, M. (2017). Why we sleep: Unlocking the power of sleep and dreams. Scribner.
When the brain is overloaded. (n.d.). When the brain’s power grid is overloaded, so the
result is like summer in the city when everyone’s running an air conditioner—the
lights flicker and then go out.

Kevin Brough – Ascend Counseling & Wellness – Ascendcw.com – 435.688.1111 – kevin@ascendcw.com