October 9, 2025

Breaking the Cycle: Understand ADHD, Stress, and Compulsive Behaviors

Breaking the Cycle: Understanding ADHD, Stress, and Compulsive Behaviors

By Kevin Brough, MFT

If you’re reading this, you might be caught in a cycle that feels impossible to break. You tell yourself you just need more discipline, more willpower, more self-control. You promise yourself—and maybe your partner—that this time will be different. But when boredom hits, or stress overwhelms you, you find yourself right back where you started. And with each setback, the shame deepens, your self-esteem takes another hit, and your relationships suffer.

I want you to know something important: This isn’t a character flaw. This is neurobiology.

As a marriage and family therapist who works extensively with adults with ADHD, I’ve seen this pattern countless times. And I’m writing this article to help you understand what’s really happening in your brain and body—and more importantly, to give you a roadmap out of this cycle.

The Neurobiological Foundation: It’s Not About Willpower

When you have ADHD, particularly inattentive type (F90.0), your brain operates with chronically lower levels of dopamine and norepinephrine—two neurotransmitters that are essential for motivation, focus, attention, and impulse control (Volkow et al., 2009). This isn’t something you can simply overcome with discipline. Your brain is literally seeking these neurochemicals, and it will gravitate toward behaviors that provide quick dopamine hits.

This is why compulsive behaviors—whether pornography use, excessive gaming, social media scrolling, or other high-stimulation activities—become so problematic for individuals with ADHD. These behaviors provide rapid dopamine surges that your understimulated brain desperately craves (Blum et al., 2012). It’s not that you lack character; it’s that your brain is trying to self-medicate a neurochemical deficit.

The Stress Connection: Why It Gets Worse Under Pressure

Here’s where the cycle becomes particularly vicious. When you experience stress, your body activates the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, releasing corticotropin-releasing factor (CRF) and adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH), which ultimately leads to cortisol production (Smith & Vale, 2006). This stress response system, while designed to help us survive threats, creates additional challenges for individuals with ADHD.

Chronic stress actually impairs the prefrontal cortex—the very brain region responsible for executive functions like impulse control, decision-making, and self-regulation (Arnsten, 2009). So when you’re stressed, the part of your brain that would normally help you resist compulsive urges becomes even less effective. Meanwhile, stress increases your need for dopamine to feel balanced, making those quick-fix behaviors even more appealing.

This creates a devastating feedback loop:

ADHD creates low baseline dopamine → 2. You seek high-dopamine behaviors → 3. These behaviors create shame and relationship problems → 4. Shame and problems create stress → 5. Stress impairs impulse control and increases dopamine-seeking → 6. The cycle intensifies

The Impact on Relationships and Self-Esteem

I see the toll this takes. The secrecy erodes trust. The broken promises create distance. Your partner feels hurt, confused, and often personalizes your behavior, wondering if they’re not enough. And you? You internalize the shame, believing you’re weak, broken, or fundamentally flawed.

But here’s what I need you to understand: Shame is not a motivator. Shame is fuel for the cycle.

When you’re drowning in shame, your brain becomes even more dysregulated, your stress levels spike, and you become more vulnerable to the very behaviors you’re trying to avoid (Tangney et al., 2007). Healing begins when we replace shame with understanding and strategic intervention.

A Comprehensive Path Forward: Evidence-Based Interventions

The good news—and there is genuinely good news here—is that with the right combination of interventions, you can break this cycle. This isn’t about willpower; it’s about working with your neurobiology instead of against it.

Important Disclaimer: The following information is educational in nature. Please consult with appropriate healthcare professionals—including your physician, psychiatrist, and therapist—before implementing medical, nutritional, or significant lifestyle changes. This article does not constitute medical advice or replace individualized treatment.

Medical Interventions

Medication Management: For many adults with ADHD, properly managed medication is transformative. Stimulant medications (like methylphenidate or amphetamine-based medications) and non-stimulant options (like atomoxetine or viloxazine) work by increasing dopamine and norepinephrine availability in the brain (Faraone & Glatt, 2010). This isn’t masking the problem—it’s correcting an underlying neurochemical imbalance.

When dopamine levels are adequately supported through medication, many individuals experience:

Reduced impulsivity and improved impulse control
Better ability to engage in delayed gratification
Decreased compulsive behavior-seeking
Improved emotional regulation
Enhanced ability to benefit from therapy

If you’re not currently on medication, or if your current regimen isn’t effectively managing your symptoms, please discuss this with a psychiatrist who specializes in adult ADHD. If you are on medication but still struggling significantly, your dosage or medication type may need adjustment.

Addressing Co-occurring Conditions: ADHD frequently co-occurs with anxiety, depression, and trauma histories (Kessler et al., 2006). These conditions interact with and exacerbate each other. Comprehensive psychiatric evaluation can help identify and treat the full clinical picture.

Nutritional Approaches

Your brain is a biochemical organ, and what you feed it matters profoundly.

Protein and Amino Acids: Adequate protein intake is essential for neurotransmitter production. Tyrosine, an amino acid found in protein-rich foods, is a precursor to dopamine (Fernstrom & Fernstrom, 2007). Aim for protein at every meal, particularly breakfast, to support stable dopamine production throughout the day.

Omega-3 Fatty Acids: Research suggests that omega-3 supplementation, particularly EPA and DHA, may improve ADHD symptoms and support brain health (Bloch & Qawasmi, 2011). Fatty fish (salmon, mackerel, sardines) or quality fish oil supplements are excellent sources.

Blood Sugar Regulation: Unstable blood sugar creates stress on your body and brain, triggering cortisol release and impairing executive function. Focus on:

Complex carbohydrates paired with protein and healthy fats
Regular meals (don’t skip breakfast)
Minimizing refined sugars and processed foods

Micronutrients: Deficiencies in zinc, magnesium, and iron are associated with ADHD symptoms (Rucklidge et al., 2014). Consider having your levels checked and supplementing as recommended by your physician.

Limit Stimulants and Depressants: Excessive caffeine can increase anxiety and disrupt sleep. Alcohol impairs impulse control and interferes with medication effectiveness. Both disrupt the very systems you’re trying to stabilize.

Exercise and Movement

Physical exercise is one of the most powerful non-pharmaceutical interventions for ADHD (Ratey & Loehr, 2011). Exercise increases dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin—providing natural symptom relief. It also reduces cortisol, improves stress resilience, and enhances executive function.

Practical Recommendations:

Cardiovascular Exercise: Aim for 30-45 minutes of moderate to vigorous activity most days. Running, cycling, swimming, or brisk walking all provide significant benefits.
Strength Training: Resistance training 2-3 times per week supports overall brain health and provides structure.
Morning Exercise: If possible, exercise early in the day. This floods your brain with neurochemicals when dopamine is typically lowest, reducing compulsive behavior-seeking throughout the day.
Movement Breaks: If you work a sedentary job, take brief movement breaks every hour. Even 2-3 minutes of movement helps regulate your nervous system.

Sleep Hygiene

Sleep deprivation is catastrophic for ADHD symptoms and impulse control (Cortese et al., 2013). When you’re sleep-deprived, your prefrontal cortex essentially goes offline, making compulsive behaviors nearly impossible to resist.

Essential Sleep Practices:

Maintain consistent sleep and wake times (even on weekends)
Eliminate screens 1-2 hours before bed (blue light suppresses melatonin)
Create a dark, cool sleeping environment
Avoid caffeine after noon
Consider melatonin supplementation (discuss with your doctor)

Therapeutic Interventions

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT helps you identify and restructure the thought patterns that maintain compulsive behaviors. It’s particularly effective when combined with medication (Safren et al., 2010). You’ll learn to:

Recognize triggers and high-risk situations
Challenge shame-based thinking
Develop alternative coping strategies
Build behavioral activation when motivation is low

Mindfulness and Self-Compassion: Mindfulness practices strengthen the prefrontal cortex and improve emotion regulation (Hölzel et al., 2011). Self-compassion—treating yourself with the kindness you’d offer a good friend—is a powerful antidote to shame. Research consistently shows that self-compassion increases motivation and resilience while reducing avoidance behaviors (Neff, 2003).

Start with just 5 minutes daily of mindfulness meditation. Apps like Insight Timer or Headspace can guide you. When you notice the urge to engage in compulsive behavior, try the “RAIN” technique:

Recognize what’s happening
Allow the experience to be there
Investigate with kindness
Nurture yourself

Couples Therapy: If your relationship has been impacted, couples therapy is essential. Your partner needs support processing their hurt, and you both need to rebuild trust and intimacy. A therapist can help you:

Develop transparent communication
Establish healthy boundaries and accountability
Understand the neurobiological components (this isn’t personal)
Reconnect emotionally and physically in healthy ways
Address underlying relationship issues that may increase vulnerability

ADHD Therapy: ADHD specialized therapists can help you build systems and structures that work with your brain. They can help you:

Create environmental modifications that reduce temptation
Develop routines that support executive function
Build in stimulation and novelty in healthy ways
Set realistic goals and maintain accountability

Environmental and Behavioral Strategies

Structure and Routine: Your ADHD brain functions best with external structure. Create consistent daily routines for morning, evening, work, and self-care. Use:

Visual schedules and reminders
Time-blocking techniques
Habit stacking (linking new habits to established ones)

Reduce Accessibility: Make compulsive behaviors harder to access. Install website blockers, keep devices out of private spaces, and create friction between impulse and action. Even small barriers significantly reduce impulsive behavior.

Increase Healthy Stimulation: Your brain needs stimulation. Instead of trying to exist in understimulation, flood your life with healthy, engaging activities:

Pursue hobbies that provide flow states
Engage in novel experiences regularly
Connect with friends and community
Learn new skills
Listen to music or podcasts during mundane tasks

Identify and Manage Triggers: Work with your therapist to identify your specific triggers:

Boredom triggers: What times of day or situations leave you understimulated? Build in healthy stimulation during these windows.
Stress triggers: What creates stress in your life? How can you address root causes or develop healthier stress management?
Emotional triggers: What feelings precede compulsive behaviors? Develop emotional regulation skills and alternative coping strategies.

Build Accountability: Isolation feeds compulsive behavior. Consider:

Regular check-ins with your therapist or coach
Support groups (either ADHD-focused or recovery-focused)
Accountability partners
Transparent technology sharing with your spouse (when appropriate and agreed upon)

Addressing the Relationship

Your relationship has been hurt. That’s real, and it needs attention. But healing is absolutely possible.

For You:

Take full responsibility without drowning in shame
Understand that changing behavior takes time—be patient with yourself while remaining committed
Show through consistent action, not just words
Be genuinely curious about your partner’s experience
Recognize that trust is rebuilt slowly through reliability

For Your Partner:

Your pain is valid, and their behavior impacts you deeply
This isn’t about you or your desirability
Understanding the neurobiology doesn’t excuse behavior, but it provides context
Your partner’s recovery journey may not be linear
Your own therapy or support group can be invaluable
Set boundaries that honor your needs while supporting their recovery

Together:

Rebuild emotional intimacy before focusing solely on physical intimacy
Create shared positive experiences
Practice vulnerability and authentic communication
Celebrate small victories
Remember why you chose each other

The Path Forward: From Shame to Hope

I want to return to where we started. You are not weak. You are not broken. You are not fundamentally flawed. You have a neurodevelopmental condition that makes certain behaviors particularly challenging to manage, and you’ve been caught in a cycle that feeds on itself.

But here’s what I know from years of working with clients just like you: Change is possible. Recovery is real. Better relationships await you.

The interventions I’ve outlined aren’t quick fixes, and they won’t all resonate equally with you. But when you approach this comprehensively—addressing the neurobiology through medication and nutrition, supporting your brain through exercise and sleep, building skills through therapy, and creating structures that set you up for success—the cycle begins to break.

Progress won’t be linear. You’ll have setbacks. But each time you implement these strategies, you’re strengthening new neural pathways, building resilience, and moving toward the person you want to be.

Next Steps: Your Action Plan

Medical: Schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist specializing in adult ADHD to discuss medication options or optimize your current regimen.
Therapeutic: Begin or continue individual therapy with a therapist experienced in ADHD and compulsive behaviors. Consider adding couples therapy if your relationship has been impacted.
Physical: Start a consistent exercise routine this week. Even 20 minutes counts. Make this non-negotiable.
Nutritional: Audit your diet. Are you eating adequate protein? Are you skipping meals? Consider consulting with a nutritionist.
Environmental: Implement one environmental change this week that reduces access to compulsive behaviors.
Support: Research ADHD or recovery support groups in your area. Connection matters.
Self-Compassion: When you notice self-critical thoughts, pause and ask: “What would I say to a good friend struggling with this?” Extend that same compassion to yourself.

A Final Word

I believe in your capacity for change. I’ve seen it happen countless times. The brain is remarkably neuroplastic—it can form new patterns, new connections, new ways of being. But it needs the right support, the right interventions, and the proper understanding.

You deserve a life free from the shame-and-compulsion cycle. Your relationship deserves honesty, intimacy, and trust. And the version of yourself you’re working toward? That person is already within you, waiting for the right conditions to emerge.

Be patient with yourself. Be strategic in your approach. Be willing to ask for help. And be hopeful, because hope is not naive—it’s grounded in the reality that with comprehensive intervention, people recover and relationships heal.

You’re not fighting this battle alone anymore.

Kevin Brough, MFT
Marriage and Family Therapist

Ascend Counseling and Wellness – ascendcw.com – 435.688.1111 – kevin@ascendcw.com

References

Arnsten, A. F. (2009). Stress signalling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 410-422. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn2648

Bloch, M. H., & Qawasmi, A. (2011). Omega-3 fatty acid supplementation for the treatment of children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder symptomatology: Systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 50(10), 991-1000. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jaac.2011.06.008

Blum, K., Chen, A. L., Braverman, E. R., Comings, D. E., Chen, T. J., Arcuri, V., Blum, S. H., Downs, B. W., Waite, R. L., Notaro, A., Lubar, J., Williams, L., Prihoda, T. J., Palomo, T., & Oscar-Berman, M. (2012). Attention-deficit-hyperactivity disorder and reward deficiency syndrome. Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment, 4(5), 893-918. https://doi.org/10.2147/NDT.S2627

Cortese, S., Faraone, S. V., Konofal, E., & Lecendreux, M. (2013). Sleep in children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: Meta-analysis of subjective and objective studies. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 48(9), 894-908. https://doi.org/10.1097/CHI.0b013e3181ac09c9

Faraone, S. V., & Glatt, S. J. (2010). A comparison of the efficacy of medications for adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder using meta-analysis of effect sizes. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 71(6), 754-763. https://doi.org/10.4088/JCP.08m04902pur

Fernstrom, J. D., & Fernstrom, M. H. (2007). Tyrosine, phenylalanine, and catecholamine synthesis and function in the brain. The Journal of Nutrition, 137(6), 1539S-1547S. https://doi.org/10.1093/jn/137.6.1539S

Hölzel, B. K., Lazar, S. W., Gard, T., Schuman-Olivier, Z., Vago, D. R., & Ott, U. (2011). How does mindfulness meditation work? Proposing mechanisms of action from a conceptual and neural perspective. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 6(6), 537-559. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691611419671

Kessler, R. C., Adler, L., Barkley, R., Biederman, J., Conners, C. K., Demler, O., Faraone, S. V., Greenhill, L. L., Howes, M. J., Secnik, K., Spencer, T., Ustun, T. B., Walters, E. E., & Zaslavsky, A. M. (2006). The prevalence and correlates of adult ADHD in the United States: Results from the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. The American Journal of Psychiatry, 163(4), 716-723. https://doi.org/10.1176/ajp.2006.163.4.716

Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85-101. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309032

Ratey, J. J., & Loehr, J. E. (2011). The positive impact of physical activity on cognition during adulthood: A review of underlying mechanisms, evidence and recommendations. Reviews in the Neurosciences, 22(2), 171-185. https://doi.org/10.1515/rns.2011.017

Rucklidge, J. J., Frampton, C. M., Gorman, B., & Boggis, A. (2014). Vitamin-mineral treatment of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder in adults: Double-blind randomised placebo-controlled trial. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 204(4), 306-315. https://doi.org/10.1192/bjp.bp.113.132126

Safren, S. A., Otto, M. W., Sprich, S., Winett, C. L., Wilens, T. E., & Biederman, J. (2010). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for ADHD in medication-treated adults with continued symptoms. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 43(7), 831-842. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2004.07.001

Smith, S. M., & Vale, W. W. (2006). The role of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis in neuroendocrine responses to stress. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 8(4), 383-395. https://doi.org/10.31887/DCNS.2006.8.4/ssmith

Tangney, J. P., Stuewig, J., & Mashek, D. J. (2007). Moral emotions and moral behavior. Annual Review of Psychology, 58, 345-372. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.56.091103.070145

Volkow, N. D., Wang, G. J., Kollins, S. H., Wigal, T. L., Newcorn, J. H., Telang, F., Fowler, J. S., Zhu, W., Logan, J., Ma, Y., Pradhan, K., Wong, C., & Swanson, J. M. (2009). Evaluating dopamine reward pathway in ADHD: Clinical implications. JAMA, 302(10), 1084-1091. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.2009.1308

October 8, 2025

Turning ADHD into a Superpower

When Your Brain Won’t Let Go: Turning ADHD Perseveration Into a Superpower

By Kevin Brough, MFT

I’m going to let you in on something that took me years to understand about my own ADHD brain: that laser-focus intensity that helps me solve complex problems? The same trait that makes me an effective therapist at times. It has a shadow side that can make collaboration feel like someone’s throwing wrenches into a perfectly running machine.

I call it my “autopilot mode,” and maybe you know exactly what I’m talking about.

The Double-Edged Sword of Perseveration

Here’s what happens in my head: Once I’ve mapped out how to approach something—whether it’s a therapy intervention, a home project, or even planning dinner—that plan becomes the plan. My brain locks onto it with the intensity of a heat-seeking missile. And when someone suggests a different approach? Even if I intellectually agree with them in the moment, five minutes later, I’ve entirely forgotten we changed anything. I’m back on my original track, steamrolling forward like we never had that conversation.

Sound familiar?

This is perseveration, and it’s one of those ADHD traits that lives in the grey area between strength and struggle. When I’m working alone, this tunnel vision is my secret weapon. I can hold a complex problem in my mind, rotate it, examine it from every angle, and persist until I find the solution. But what about adding another person to the mix? Suddenly their input feels less like collaboration and more like… well, like interference with the perfect plan already running in my head.

The hard truth I’ve had to face: Sometimes I subconsciously dismiss others’ ideas as “dumb” or label them as arguments rather than contributions. Even when my approach might be the best one (and let’s be honest, sometimes it is), that rigid certainty costs me something valuable—connection, collaboration, and often better solutions I couldn’t see from inside my tunnel.

Understanding Why Our Brains Get Stuck

Before we discuss turning this challenge into a strength, let’s first understand what’s actually happening. Adults with ADHD don’t just deal with distraction—we also struggle with persistent thoughts and beliefs that our brains won’t release. This shows up in several ways:

Intrusive thoughts arrive uninvited and set up camp in our minds, creating anxiety and pulling our attention away from what we’re trying to focus on.

Rumination traps us in thought loops, replaying past mistakes or catastrophizing future scenarios. Our ADHD brains have a hyperactive Default Mode Network—the part responsible for mind-wandering—which makes it incredibly hard to turn off these repetitive thought patterns.

Cognitive distortions warp our thinking into extremes. We fall into all-or-nothing thinking (“I always mess things up” or “I never get it right”) and catastrophizing (turning minor setbacks into disasters). Years of struggling without understanding why can solidify negative self-perceptions that become a constant backdrop to everything we do.

Perseveration—my particular nemesis—is the inability to shift away from a thought or approach, even when it’s no longer serving us. Unlike rumination that loops on emotions, perseveration locks onto plans, methods, and ways of doing things.

Why This Happens: The Neuroscience Briefly

Our ADHD brains have some unique wiring:

Executive dysfunction impairs our brain’s command center, making it harder to flexibly shift between thoughts and regulate our responses
DMN hyperactivity keeps our minds churning, making it challenging to let thoughts go
Neurotransmitter imbalances (particularly dopamine and norepinephrine) affect how we process and release information
Co-occurring anxiety or depression can amplify these patterns exponentially

The result? Once we lock onto something—an idea, a plan, a way of doing things—our brains struggle to unlock, even when we consciously want to.

My Personal Battle with Perseveration

Let me paint you a picture of how this plays out in my life. I’m working on a home project with my wife. I’ve already figured out the approach—measured twice, researched the best method, and mapped the steps. It’s a solid plan. She suggests a modification. I nod, agree it’s a good idea, and we decide to incorporate it.

Ten minutes later, I’m executing my original plan, as if our conversation never happened. She asks, “I thought we were doing it differently?” And I’m genuinely confused. In my head, we’re still following the plan—the one I created before she spoke.

In my practice, I’m collaborating with another therapist on a treatment approach. They share an insight I hadn’t considered. I acknowledge it, genuinely appreciate it, and even feel excited about it. In the next session, I reverted entirely to my original conceptualization. Their input vanished like morning fog.

The really tricky part? I often don’t notice I’m doing it. I slip into what I call “robotic mode”—unconsciously dismissive, operating from the script in my head, experiencing others’ contributions as threats to overcome rather than gifts to receive.

Sometimes I’m already in “robotic mode” intensely enough that I reject input from others as not just interruptions but Interferences. Interfering (arguing) with my train of thought, my process, my “doing”. Heaven forbid someone else would give us directions or attempt to teach us something while we are in that mode.

The Awareness That Changes Everything

The first breakthrough occurred when I began to catch myself in those moments. Not afterward, during the self-recrimination phase, but in the moment. I started noticing the physical sensations—a slight tightening in my chest when someone suggested a different approach, a subtle speeding up of my thoughts as my brain rushed to defend its plan.

That awareness doesn’t fix the problem, but it creates a tiny pause. A microsecond where choice becomes possible. Hopefully, this pause and openness can become a natural part of your routine.

Strategies: From Struggle to Strength

Here’s what I’ve learned and am still learning about managing perseveration and other persistent thought patterns, both personally and in working with clients:

1. Acknowledge Without Judgment

The moment you notice you’re stuck—whether in a thought loop or locked onto a rigid plan—acknowledge it without beating yourself up. “Oh, there’s that perseveration again,” or “My brain is really holding tight to this idea.” Resistance makes it stronger. Acceptance creates space for change.

2. Externalize to Release the Grip

Journaling is powerful for getting persistent thoughts out of your head and onto paper, where they have less power. When I’m stuck in a thought loop about whether I handled a client situation correctly, writing it out helps me see it more objectively.

For perseveration specifically, I’ve started documenting agreed-upon changes. If we modify the plan, I immediately write it down (in a note on my phone) or take a photo. It sounds simple, but it works. My brain might forget the conversation, but my phone doesn’t.

3. Create “Being While Doing” Check-ins

This phrase—”being while I’m doing”—captures what I need most. I’ve started building in deliberate pause points during tasks:

Every 15 minutes, I stop and take three conscious breaths
I ask myself: “Am I in robotic mode right now?”
I check: “What was the last thing someone said to me about this?”
I notice: “Am I defending a position or collaborating toward a solution?”

These micro-interventions interrupt the autopilot long enough for awareness to return. The state that I am in while I am doing becomes the open, collaborative, and connected version of me!

4. Engage Your Full Attention Elsewhere

When rumination or intrusive thoughts take hold, sometimes the best medicine is complete engagement in something else. Physical exercise, a video game that demands full concentration, a creative project—anything that genuinely captures your ADHD brain’s attention can break the loop.

I’ve found that high-intensity interval training works wonders. Thirty minutes of pushing my body hard enough that I can’t think about anything else often resets my mental state completely.

5. Practice Mindfulness (But Make It ADHD-Friendly)

Traditional meditation can be torture for ADHD brains. But mindfulness—the practice of present-moment awareness—is incredibly valuable for managing persistent thoughts. The key is finding approaches that work for how our brains actually function:

Walking meditation: Paying attention to each step, the sensation of your feet, the rhythm of movement
Sensory grounding: Naming five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can touch, two you can smell, one you can taste
Brief body scans: Spending just 2-3 minutes noticing sensations in your body, especially where you hold tension

These practices train your brain to notice when it’s wandering and gently redirect—exactly the skill needed to catch perseveration before it takes hold entirely.

6. Leverage Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

CBT is remarkably effective for identifying and changing the thought patterns that trap us. A good therapist can help you:

Recognize your specific cognitive distortions
Challenge all-or-nothing thinking
Develop more balanced perspectives
Create practical strategies for interrupting unhelpful patterns

As both a therapist and someone with ADHD, I can tell you that CBT isn’t about positive thinking or pretending problems don’t exist. It’s about seeing your thoughts more clearly and choosing which ones to invest in.

7. Break Down the Overwhelm

When analysis paralysis strikes—when you’re so stuck in planning and perfecting that you can’t start—break the task into tiny steps. Not “organize the garage” but “spend 10 minutes sorting items in one corner.” Not “develop new treatment approach” but “read one article and take three notes.”

Small steps bypass the brain’s overwhelm response and build momentum.

8. Strengthen Your Foundation

None of these strategies work as well if your ADHD brain isn’t getting what it needs:

Sleep: Non-negotiable for executive function
Exercise: Literally changes brain chemistry in ADHD-helpful ways
Nutrition: Blood sugar crashes amplify every ADHD challenge
Medication: If appropriate for you, it can dramatically improve cognitive flexibility

Think of these as maintaining the operating system. Everything else is just apps.

The Strength Hidden in Perseveration

Here’s what I want you to understand: The same brain that gets stuck on plans and struggles to let go is also capable of extraordinary persistence, deep focus, and the ability to hold complex problems in mind until they’re solved.

My “perseveration” has made me excellent at following through on long-term therapeutic goals with clients. When I commit to helping someone, I don’t let go. I keep the threads of their story woven together across sessions. I notice patterns others might miss because I’m still holding onto details from months ago.

That tunnel vision that frustrates my wife during home projects? It’s also what allows me to hyperfocus on research, to read dozens of articles on a topic until I truly understand it, to persist through difficult therapeutic moments when a more straightforward path would be to give up.

The challenge isn’t to eliminate perseveration—it’s to develop enough awareness and flexibility to choose when to harness it and when to release it.

Working with Others: The Ongoing Practice

I’m still working on this. I still slip into robotic mode. I still sometimes unintentionally bulldoze over others’ input. But I’m catching it more often now. And when I do see it, I’ve learned to say:

“Hold on—I just realized I went back to my original plan without considering what you said. Can we pause and really talk through your idea?”

That vulnerability, that admission of my brain’s tendency to lock on and tune out, has actually strengthened my relationships. People appreciate being seen and heard. They appreciate knowing that when I override their input, it’s not because I don’t value them—it’s because my brain sometimes operates on old code before I can update it.

Your Turn

If you recognize yourself in this article, know that you’re not broken. Your brain isn’t defective. It’s wired differently, with both unique challenges and remarkable strengths.

The goal isn’t to become someone else. It’s to understand yourself well enough to work with your brain instead of against it. To catch the moments when perseveration serves you and the moments when it limits you. To build in the pauses, the check-ins, the awareness that transforms a rigid challenge into an adaptive strength.

Start small. Pick one strategy from this article. Try it for a week. Notice what changes. Build from there.

And remember: The same persistence that makes it hard to let go of a plan is the persistence that will help you build new patterns. Your ADHD brain is capable of remarkable change—you just have to stick with it long enough to see it through.

Kevin Brough, MFT, specializes in working with adults with ADHD, drawing from both professional training and personal experience. He focuses on helping clients transform ADHD challenges into strengths, building awareness and strategies that work with—not against—the unique brain of individuals with ADHD.

Kevin Brough – Ascend Counseling and Wellness – 435.688.1111 – kevin@ascendcw.com

If you found this article helpful and would like to explore how to turn your ADHD challenges into strengths, I’d be happy to work with you. Understanding ADHD from the inside out is one of my specialties—because I live it too.

May 1, 2025

Creating Balance

Creating Balance: Daily and Weekly Practices for ADHD and Bipolar Wellness

Living with ADHD or bipolar disorder presents unique challenges that can significantly impact daily functioning and overall well-being. However, with structured practices and intentional lifestyle choices, individuals with these conditions can achieve greater balance and stability. The LifeScaping Balance Wheel offers a holistic framework for addressing multiple dimensions of health, from cellular to life balance.

Understanding Cellular Balance

At the foundation of wellness is cellular balance. Our bodies consist of atoms that vibrate at specific frequencies, and these frequencies can be affected by what we consume, breathe, and experience. For those with ADHD or bipolar disorder, maintaining cellular balance is especially crucial because:

Toxic substances, adverse environmental exposures, and stress can lower the body’s bio-electric field.
A balanced cellular environment supports optimal brain function.
Self-regulation of cellular systems can improve focus, mood stability, and energy levels.

Body Balance: Creating Physical Homeostasis

Homeostasis—the body’s ability to maintain internal stability—can be particularly challenging for individuals with ADHD and bipolar disorder. Key practices to support body balance include:

Exercise & Fitness Practices

Daily Movement: 30 minutes of moderate activity daily, even broken into three 10-minute sessions
Nature Walks: Combining exercise with grounding in natural environments
Rhythmic Activities: Swimming, dancing, or cycling can help regulate brain waves
Strength Training: Twice weekly sessions to build muscle and improve body awareness
Consistency Over Intensity: Establish a sustainable routine rather than pushing too hard

Nutrition Strategies

Regular Meal Timing: Eating at consistent times helps stabilize blood sugar and mood
Protein with Every Meal: Supports sustained focus and attention
Omega-3 Rich Foods: Fatty fish, walnuts, and flaxseeds support brain health.
Complex Carbohydrates: Provide steady energy without spikes and crashes
Hydration: Aim for half your body weight in ounces of water daily
Minimize Stimulants: Reduce caffeine and sugar, which can exacerbate symptoms.
Food Journal: Track how different foods affect your mood and focus

Brain Balance: Managing Cognitive Function

The brain’s electrical patterns are particularly relevant for those with ADHD and bipolar conditions. Practices to support brain balance include:

Daily Brain-Balancing Routines

Meditation: Start with just 5 minutes daily and gradually increase
Breathwork: Practice 4-7-8 breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8) during transitions
Brain Training: Use apps designed for cognitive skills like attention and memory
State-Shifting Activities: Learn to recognize when you’re in Beta (active), Alpha (creative), or Theta (intuitive) states
Single-Tasking: Focus on one activity at a time with full attention
Cognitive Breaks: Take 5-minute mental rest periods between tasks

Inner Balance: Emotional Regulation

Heart rhythm patterns significantly impact cognitive function and emotional stability, a crucial area for those with ADHD and bipolar disorder:

Emotional Regulation Practices

Heart-Focused Breathing: Practice coherent breathing while focusing attention on the heart area
Mood Tracking: Journal daily to identify patterns and triggers
Emotional First Aid Kit: Create a personalized list of activities that help during emotional extremes
Gratitude Practice: Note three specific things you’re grateful for each day
Visualization: Spend 5 minutes daily imagining yourself handling challenging situations calmly
Body Scanning: Regular check-ins to notice where you hold tension
Social Connection: Schedule regular time with supportive people

Mind Balance: Integrating Feminine and Masculine Energies

Creating a balance between flexibility (traditionally associated with feminine energy) and structure (usually associated with masculine energy) is beneficial for ADHD and bipolar management:

Mind Balancing Practices

Structured Flexibility: Create routines with built-in options
Perceptual Position Shifts: Practice seeing situations from multiple perspectives
Self-Observation: Regular check-ins about your thinking patterns without judgment
Values Clarification: Regularly revisit what matters most to you
Intention Setting: Begin each day with clear, positive intentions
Mindful Media Consumption: Be selective about information intake

Life Balance: Integrating Work and Lifestyle

Achieving proper prioritization between career demands and personal well-being is essential for those with ADHD and bipolar disorder:

Weekly Life Balance Practices

Sunday Planning: Set aside time to plan the week ahead
Time Blocking: Designate specific times for work, relationships, and self-care
Energy Management: Schedule demanding tasks during your natural high-energy periods
Boundary Setting: Practice saying no to activities that deplete your resources
Leisure Without Guilt: Schedule time for enjoyable activities as non-negotiable appointments
Nature Connection: Spend time outdoors at least twice weekly
Digital Detox: Establish regular periods without screens

Activities to Achieve Life Balance

When choosing activities for your weekly routine, focus on those that bring peace, joy, and balance. For ADHD and bipolar management, consider these specific approaches:

Self-Care Practices

Morning Routine: Establish consistent wake times and morning activities
Evening Wind-Down: Create a relaxing pre-sleep routine
Sensory Toolkit: Identify sounds, textures, and scents that help you feel grounded
Body Therapies: Consider regular massage, acupuncture, or other bodywork
Sleep Hygiene: Prioritize 7-9 hours of quality sleep in a cool, dark room

Meditation/Prayer/Outdoors

Guided Meditations: Use recordings designed explicitly for ADHD or bipolar management
Ecotherapy: Intentional time in forests, near water, or in gardens
Sunlight Exposure: 15-30 minutes of morning sunlight daily
Grounding Practices: Direct physical contact with the earth (walking barefoot on grass)
Prayer or Spiritual Practice: Connect with something larger than yourself

Creativity Practices

Art Therapy: Expressive drawing without judgment
Music Therapy: Both creating and listening to music
Movement Therapy: Dance, tai chi, or other forms of expressive movement
Writing: Stream-of-consciousness journaling or creative writing
Cooking: Mindful food preparation as a creative outlet

Relationship Practices

Communication Skills: Learn and practice clear expression of needs
Support Groups: Connect with others who understand your experiences
Relationship Boundaries: Clearly define your needs in relationships
Quality Time: Focus on depth rather than breadth in relationships
Vulnerability Practice: Share appropriate struggles with trusted others

Lifestyle for Life Balance

Creating sustainable lifestyle habits is essential for long-term management of ADHD and bipolar symptoms:

Daily Lifestyle Considerations

Rhythm Over Rigidity: Create consistent daily patterns while allowing flexibility
Environmental Organization: Reduce visual clutter in living and working spaces
Light Management: Use blue light filters in the evenings and proper lighting during the day
Stress Management: Identify and minimize unnecessary stressors
Medication Integration: If prescribed, create reliable systems for medication adherence

Connections for Life Balance

The synergy of supportive relationships is significant for those with ADHD and bipolar disorder:

Building Supportive Connections

Professional Support: Regular sessions with healthcare providers
Peer Support: Connections with others who have similar experiences
Family Education: Help loved ones understand your condition
Communication Tools: Learn and practice non-violent communication
Boundary Setting: Clear, kind limits in all relationships

By integrating practices across these dimensions of the LifeScaping Balance Wheel, individuals with ADHD and bipolar disorder can create a more stable, fulfilling life experience. Remember that balance isn’t about perfection—creating sustainable patterns supporting your unique needs and strengths.

The journey toward balance is ongoing and requires regular reassessment and adjustment. Consider starting with just one or two practices from each area, gradually building a personalized approach to wellness that honors the medicine wheel’s wisdom of interconnection and wholeness.

Thank you,

Kevin Brough

Kevin Brough – Ascend Counseling & Wellness – Ascendcw.com – 435.688.1111 – kevin@ascendcw.com

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