Finding Your Center: How Your Body, Heart, Mind, and Spirit Work Together for Well-Being

By Kevin Todd Brough, M.A., MFT

Have you ever noticed that when you’re stressed, it’s hard to think clearly? Or that when you’re anxious, your body feels tense and your emotions feel overwhelming? This isn’t a coincidence—it’s your body, heart, mind, and spirit all communicating with each other.

For over two decades, I’ve been exploring a simple but powerful idea: when we find a centered place within ourselves—what I call our Vantage Point—and develop the ability to move flexibly between different parts of our experience—what I call Fluid Perspective—we gain access to our whole, integrated self.

The exciting news? Modern research supports what many wisdom traditions have taught for centuries: there’s real science behind finding your center.

What Is a “Vantage Point”?

Imagine standing on a hilltop where you can see the entire landscape below—the valleys, the rivers, the forests, and the paths connecting them. From this elevated position, you can observe everything without being lost in any single area.

Your inner Vantage Point works the same way. It’s a calm, centered place within you from which you can observe your thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and a more profound sense of meaning—without being overwhelmed by any of them. Different therapy approaches have different names for this:

Wise Mind in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (Linehan, 2015)

The Observing Self in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (Hayes et al., 2012)

The Self in Internal Family Systems, characterized by calmness, curiosity, clarity, and compassion (Schwartz, 2021)

The fact that so many different approaches point to the same thing suggests this capacity is fundamental to human well-being.

The Four Parts of You

From your Vantage Point, you can observe four essential aspects of your experience:

Mind — Your thoughts, analysis, planning, and problem-solving

Heart — Your emotions, feelings, and relational connections

Body — Your physical sensations, energy, and somatic experience

Spirit — Your sense of meaning, purpose, values, and connection to something larger

Fluid Perspective is the ability to move flexibly between these four areas—to check in with your body, listen to your emotions, engage your thinking, and connect with your deeper values—without getting stuck in any one place.

When all four are working together in harmony, you experience what I call your Whole Soul—a state of integration where you feel unified, clear, and authentically yourself.

The Body: Your Foundation for Finding Center

Here’s something I’ve observed in my clinical work that research thoroughly supports: the body is often the fastest pathway to your Vantage Point.

When your body relaxes and grounds, your emotions naturally begin to calm. When your emotions settle, your mind can find peace and clarity. And when body, heart, and mind come into harmony, you become more open to spirit—to meaning, purpose, and connection.

This isn’t just philosophy—it’s measurable physiology.

What Happens When You Find Your Center

Researchers at the HeartMath Institute have discovered that when we enter a calm, centered state, our heart rhythm changes. Instead of an erratic, jagged pattern, our heart rate variability becomes smooth and wave-like—a state they call coherence (McCraty & Childre, 2010).

During coherence, something remarkable happens: our breathing, heart rhythm, and even brain waves begin to synchronize. Scientists call this entrainment—different systems in your body literally coming into harmony with each other.

The research shows that in this coherent state, we think more clearly, feel more emotionally stable, and experience greater overall well-being. Our body and brain simply work better together (McCraty et al., 2009).

Why Safety Matters

Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory helps explain why finding your center can feel so difficult when you’re stressed (Porges, 2011). Your nervous system is constantly scanning for safety or threat—usually without your awareness.

When your nervous system detects safety, it activates what Porges calls the “social engagement system”—your heart rate slows, your body relaxes, and you become capable of connection, clear thinking, and calm presence. This is the physiological foundation of your Vantage Point.

When your nervous system detects a threat, it shifts into fight-flight mode (anxiety, racing thoughts) or shutdown mode (numbness, disconnection). In these states, accessing your centered Vantage Point becomes much harder—not because something is wrong with you, but because your biology is doing precisely what it’s designed to do.

The good news? We can learn to signal safety to our nervous system through practices such as slow breathing, grounding, and intentional body awareness.

Does This Really Work? What Research Shows

Yes! Multiple research reviews have found substantial effects for practices that help us regulate our body-heart-mind connection:

A significant analysis found that heart rate variability biofeedback significantly reduces anxiety and stress (Goessl et al., 2017).

Research on body-focused trauma therapy (Somatic Experiencing) shows positive effects on PTSD symptoms and overall well-being (Brom et al., 2017).

Studies on mindfulness meditation show it changes brain activity in ways associated with improved attention and emotional regulation (Hasenkamp & Barsalou, 2012).

In other words, when we practice finding our center, our brains and bodies actually change in measurable, positive ways.

Simple Ways to Find Your Vantage Point

Here are some practices you can start using today:

1. Ground Through Your Body

Feel your feet on the floor. Notice where your body makes contact with the chair. Take a slow breath. This simple practice signals safety to your nervous system.

2. Breathe for Coherence

Slow, rhythmic breathing (about 5-6 breaths per minute) helps your heart rhythm become coherent. Try breathing in for 5 counts, out for 5 counts.

3. Check In With All Four Parts

Ask yourself: What is my body feeling? What emotions are present? What is my mind saying? What does my spirit need?

4. Create an Anchor

Find a word, image, or gesture that represents your centered state. Practice accessing this anchor daily so it becomes easier to find your Vantage Point when you need it most.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

Remember: losing your center is normal and human. The goal isn’t to stay centered all the time—it’s to develop the ability to return to center when you notice you’ve drifted from it.

Your Whole Soul Is Wiser Than Any Part

When we’re stuck in just one part of ourselves—caught in anxious thoughts, overwhelmed by emotion, disconnected from our body, or cut off from meaning—we lose access to our full wisdom.

But when we find our Vantage Point and can move fluidly between mind, heart, body, and spirit, something powerful happens: we access the integrated wisdom of our Whole Soul.

This isn’t about being perfect or never struggling. It’s about developing the capacity to observe your experience with compassion, to listen to all parts of yourself, and to respond from a place of wholeness rather than fragmentation.

The research confirms what many have intuitively known: we are designed for integration. And with practice, we can learn to come home to ourselves.

Ready to explore these concepts further? I work with individuals and couples to develop these capacities within a supportive therapeutic relationship. Contact Ascend Counseling & Wellness to learn more about how therapy can help you find your center and access your Whole Soul.

References

Brom, D., et al. (2017). Somatic experiencing for posttraumatic stress disorder: A randomized controlled outcome study. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 30(3), 304-312.

Goessl, V. C., Curtiss, J. E., & Hofmann, S. G. (2017). The effect of heart rate variability biofeedback training on stress and anxiety: A meta-analysis. Psychological Medicine, 47(15), 2578-2586.

Hasenkamp, W., & Barsalou, L. W. (2012). Effects of meditation experience on functional connectivity of distributed brain networks. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 6, 38.

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

McCraty, R., Atkinson, M., Tomasino, D., & Bradley, R. T. (2009). The coherent heart: Heart-brain interactions, psychophysiological coherence, and the emergence of system-wide order. Integral Review, 5(2), 10-115.

McCraty, R., & Childre, D. (2010). Coherence: Bridging personal, social, and global health. Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine, 16(4), 10-24.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton.

Schwartz, R. C. (2021). No bad parts: Healing trauma and restoring wholeness with the Internal Family Systems model. Sounds True.

Ascend Counseling and Wellness – ascendcw.com – 435.688.1111 – kevin@ascendcw.com